Dear brothers and sisters, I am Won KIM, voicing Pastor Caleb Soo Lee Chong. Shalom. Praise the Lord! Our lessons will be coming to a close. Today, let us move into the final topic, “Casting off the Trauma from Our Past”.

Modern Medical Science has confirmed that the body, mind and spirit are mutually interrelated and interact with one another as an indivisible entity. That is say, your physical health can have an impact on your mind. Likewise, when your spirituality is not whole, it will show up externally through your actions, thinking, mental and physical health.

Our past experiences will likewise have an impact on our present state. We live in the past, present and the future tenses. The past has become history, while the future is yet to be; the present is the only one we can do something about. The problem is, my past influences my present, and that in turn carries over into my future. I will have to start today if I want my future to become different. Should I fail to manage the impact or damage from my past, it will carry over to my present lifestyle, the direction I am heading toward and my future performance. So, dear brothers and sisters, the past, present and future form an indivisible entity along our sojourn on this earth.

Believe it or not, hidden within the body of every adult is a child – the ego of his childhood. A happy adult has a happy child inside of him; the same goes for a baddie adult: there is a baddie and pathetic child lurking within him as well. Each ‘child’ is a carry-over from his respective childhood, with its respective impact to show in the present state of the adult displacing it.

Therefore, when you come across a joyful adult, very often you can spot the joyous child in him at work as well. On the other hand, if you see an adult behaving in an exceedingly detestable, unreasonable or abominable way, that would be the hidden young child with similar characteristics in action throughout all these years.

Thus, we see the modes in one’s behavior and thinking as expressed outwardly are invariably and intimately linked to his childhood. A person’s past influences how he interacts with others and handles matters, the state of his inner being and his responses to the external environment on his way to adulthood. If left to itself or stayed uncorrected (especially the negative experiences), this will inevitably give rise to such trauma being exorcised time and again in his adult life. Such harmful or dark shadows will be projected onto his relationships with his spouse, children, colleagues, neighbours and even brothers and sisters within fellowship circles.

Case Study

Let us look at the case of Lee Harvey Oswald, the killer of the American President John F. Kennedy. Oswald was born on 18 Oct 1939 into a broken family. His mother had divorced a month after she gave birth to a child. Thereafter, she married his biological father and gave birth to his elder brother Robert two years later. Oswald’s father passed away two months before he was born. The infant was left to the care of friends as he did not have a father or mother to care for him. Later on, he was sent to Bethlehem Children's Home. When he was five years old, his mother remarried; young Oswald was often abused by his stepfather as a punching bag. In other words, Lee Harvey Oswald went through a traumatic childhood and was bristling with deep anger and frustrations. He managed to complete his primary school education after switching schools seven times since entering his first school at the age of six. He was engaged in endless fights at home and often played truant in school, showed poor school results and was suffering from psychiatric disorders.

Oswald was expelled from school at the age of sixteen, and also sacked from his posts on a number of occasions. He then enlisted into the United States Marine Corps in 1956. Oswald was dating Ella German in 1960 when he broached the subject of marriage and gave her a gift bought with his hard-earned savings. However, Ella made sport of Oswald’s gift by flinging it to the ground in public and mocked him for using such a trinket to propose marriage. They broke up not long after, with Oswald deeply hurt and feeling that the whole world was working against him. He vowed to carry out some earth-shattering act so that the whole world would sit up and take notice of him.

When Oswald was sent to the USSR, he met Marina Prusakova in the spring of 1961. They got married and relocated to the United States. Quarrels between the couple became a staple in their rocky marriage after the births of a son and daughter. It ended with Marina walking out of their marriage with the children and denying Oswald access to them. On 22 November 1963, a frustrated Oswald bursting with hatred gunned down the most powerful man in the world – a sitting President John F Kennedy seeking a second term of office. Oswald carried out the fatal attack from his vantage point on the sixth story of Texas School Book Depository in Dallas, Texas, as his target’s motorcade was passing by.

Dear brothers and sisters, what had planted the idea in the mind of Lee Harvey Oswald to kill the President of the United States of America?

Childhood experiences and their impact on subsequent developments of the child.

Modern studies indicate than more than 90% of people with tendencies toward violence, killings, injuries come from broken families or went through unfortunate childhoods. Why is that so? Certainly, Kennedy’s killer had been longing to carry out some earth-shattering act so that the entire world would sit up and take notice of him.

In other words, Oswald came from a most unfortunate family, and what he went through caused him to suffer from an inferiority complex. This mental disorder goaded him to seek some form of recognition such as carrying out some earth-shattering act so that the whole world would sit up and take notice of him. I am reminded of a story about a fireman who went around setting fires to show his own existence. He went in a state of high ecstasy each time he engaged in such acts. Dear brothers and sisters, gnawing the minds of those suffering from such illness is an inexpressible sense of an inferiority complex that leads him to believe that he is always at the butt of abuse.  There was a burning urge to come under the limelight within him.

Dear brothers and sisters, children growing up into adults with tendencies towards physical violence commonly come from unhappy families. There is a reason for this. Such harsh experiences are deeply ingrained into his psyche, only to surface gradually in his later years.  As the saying goes, he who grows up under harsh words will learn to blame others; he who grows up amidst people who love to make comparisons will learn to become jealous; he who grows up amidst animosity will learn to do battle; he who grows up with naysayers will learn to criticize others. However, if a child receives affirmations, acceptance, love and concern, he will grow up to be an endearing person; he would not attempt to find faults or sow seeds of dissension amongst his fellowmen.

Dear brothers and sisters, the happy or unhappy experiences during our childhood will have far-reaching impact on what we become in the later stages of our lives. Such effects may be on our character, how we view life and our attitudes toward everything around us, even interpersonal relationships with our fellowmen. Put it another way, what we went through will show up in our relationships with our spouses, family members, colleagues, neighbours and friends. We need God to help us navigate through these troubled waters.

Healing comes from Jesus, His Love will make us whole again

There are times when we think that the past has had its imprint on our present being. While there is no denying of this for a fact, we cannot say the past has taken an impregnable hold on our present and we just have to be fatalistic about it. I beg to differ: “NO, nothing can be further from the truth!” Chances are still available for me to make choices and turn the status quo around. This is especially so when we go back to our faith in Jesus Christ.

For so teaches the book of 2 Corinthians chapter 5 verse 17 in the Bible: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” The life view of a Christian is not one that is passive, pessimistic or even fatalistic, totally manipulated and constrained by childhood experiences. Instead, we should turn the table on all of these mindsets from the perspective of our faith and transform what was ugly in the past into what is beautiful today. Indeed, it was those bad days that had tempered me and taught me to be tough today!

If a growing tree has never been through violent storms, whipping winds or even severe droughts during its growth, it would never have sent its roots deep into the ground to seek for the living waters. It is indeed these dry spells that have set into motion the process to strengthen them against these tempests threatening to rip them out of the ground. Having ridden through these tough times, it would fear such deadly convulsions no more. It has only one response: I will stand up to the challenge!

Hence, while life in the past had been painful and traumatic, that is no signal that the future is shrouded in dark clouds! On the contrary, these are but hammer blows raining over the anvil to steel us into someone stronger, more positive and put us in a better position to stay on course. May God show the way!

Casting off the Trauma from Our Past

It is natural for our lives to be interspersed with episodes of trauma and tragedy. However, we should never allow the past to nag us for too long, as we continue to pile the blame on all and sundry – except ourselves. There is no need either. I call to mind a child who kept on howling to no end -- even long after an injection has been administered. Of course, I can understand his fears the moment the syringe was aimed at him.  My focus is on his “song of lamentations” morphing into a full-length symphony that lasts throughout the journey home or even long after that, all because he failed to tear himself away from that ‘fearful’ moment!

Today, we see many people who do not make a clean break from the agonizing legacies of the past. Instead, they feed and grow it into a Frankenstein that torments them to no end, leaving behind unhealed wounds to fester and destroy their own being. May the Lord give us strength every step of the way!

Next, let me share the case of this young lady in love who always found it difficult to develop stronger relationships with people around her. She got cold feet the moment the subject of marriage was broached. It was later found that she came from an unhappy family where her parents could not get along with each other. She never had a happy conversation with them since childhood, and did not know how to express the inner love inside her. She would keep everything to herself even in casual chats; marriage is a taboo subject.

There is another case about a lady who realized that her husband could not communicate with her in depth after their marriage. The man would back off moments after he felt such a possibility looming and clam up when he felt discussions were heading that way. Subsequent findings showed that he witnessed his parents get into a serious quarrel that ended up in divorce when their discussion hit an uncomfortable depth. From that moment onward, he blamed the break-up between his mom and dad on getting deep into conversations, and would never be drawn into them.

Dear brothers and sisters, we must put such old wounds to rest in Jesus Christ, now that we have become His followers. Yes, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! Amen? May God stretch out His embracing Arms, and His Precious Blood cover our sins, even as He renews us. Let us pray to Him right away!

Let’s pray

Dear Heavenly Father, you have taught us: “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” How these words shed light on my life! Because we are healed through His great Love with our sins being covered over by His Precious Blood, we are now a new creation, ready to start our lives afresh! O, Almighty One!  Do let us into Your Presence, confer upon us Your Blessings, and do not allow our unhappy past to trip up and deny us of our present and future lives! Show us Your Compassion, Your Pity, O, Lord, help us to set our sights on the good News to guide us to enter a brave new world! O, our Heavenly Father, help me to listen to Your voice and to follow You daily. Amen!

Recommendations by Rev. Dr Caleb SOO Lee Chong

The three books “The Gospel for the Modern Man”, “Faith of the Modern Believer” and “Values for the Modern Disciple” by Rev. Dr Caleb SOO Lee Chong are worthy books to edify disciples. In order to minimize differences in the qualities amongst Christians, our churches need to set up basic courses to address these issues. In turn, this will enable all disciples to incorporate their faith into their lives and allow changes to take place through renewal of minds. May God make use of these basic courses to edify more disciples to strengthen His soldiers and claim victory on His battle-ground!

The three books “The Gospel for the Modern Man”, “Faith of the Modern Believer” and “Values for the Modern Disciple” are suitable course materials for anyone who wish to acquire understanding of the Christian faith in a more comprehensive manner. The contents are easy to grasp and relate to the real world that we are living in. They are written with an eye for the man-in-the-street and explore how to make our faith come alive in our daily social interactions.

In particular, these are suitable if you  

1. are someone who wants to understand the Christian faith or,

2. are someone who has just accepted the Christian faith or,

3. have been a Christian for many years but still hungering for a firmer grounding in the faith or,

4. are a pastor or co-worker who plans to use these materials for teaching purposes.

If you need to take up learning or use these materials in a systematic manner, please us contact at this email address.：[email protected]