For the past few weeks, I have shared on the relationship between God and man, the interpersonal relationship among humans and the relationship between human beings and material things. Today, we will discuss about the relationship with oneself.

How a person sees himself or his relationship with oneself will ultimately affect his interpersonal relationships and lifelong planning. This will also affect his emotions and even determine the success of his career and the blissfulness of his marriage. You can imagine how important his relationship with oneself is. If a person wants to establish a harmonious relationship with oneself, he has to be aware of himself. Before that, he needs to know God first – in the eyes of God, what kind of person am I? How does He see me?

Behavior of the humans after the fall of man

Genesis 3:7 in the ESV Bible shows us that after the fall of man, we have a negative view of ourselves. It is written in the Bible that: Then the eyes of both were opened (the eyes of Adam and Eve), and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. In other words, they could not accept their condition. When the male and the female were first created, they were beautiful and they saw that they were lovely. However, after the fall, they realised that they were ugly and could not accept themselves. Therefore, they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths to cover their shame.

Today, many people cannot accept themselves and even hate themselves. As a result, they resort to plastic surgery, abstinence from food and other methods to enhance their appearances and bodies. Some people went for facelift surgery to make themselves look younger as they cannot accept the fact that they have aged gradually. When people cannot accept themselves, it will bring endless troubles and pain. On the contrary, when a person can accept himself, able to let go of things, he will slowly be more relaxed.

Not only that, after the fall, there was a negative reaction from his conscience. Genesis 3:10 from the ESV Bible: Adam said to God, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He was afraid, he was ashamed and he was not at peace. Therefore, the Lord asked him: Did you eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? Why are you hiding from me? Why don’t you have peace in your conscience? After the man had sinned, there was no peace in his heart. This is the natural reaction for those with a conscience. What is conscience? In Latin, the word “conscience” comprises two words. “Con” means together, “cious” refers to science, which means “knowing”. The thing that “knows about it together with me”, is the conscience.

In Australia, there was a guy who escaped to start a new lease of life in another place after he had murdered his wife. He remained incognito, started a new family and became a very good citizen, husband and father. Twenty years later, one day, he appeared in the police station to surrender himself. So his wife rushed there. After realizing what the husband had done, she told him, “That took place twenty years ago. It was in the past. Why must you do this? Even I do not know about it!” He raised his head and said to his wife: “You don’t understand. I did not have peace in the past twenty years until I have surrendered today. Now, I have a bit of peace.” What is this called? It is the conscience!

After Adam and Even had sinned, they did not have peace in their conscience and felt ashamed. They started to evade God and hid themselves - this was the result of sins. How do humans avoid God? They often use their powers of reasoning, religion, culture, art and good works to cover themselves just like Adam used fig leaves to cover his own shame.

Genesis 4: 4-5 in the ESV Bible: “And Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell.” Thus, Cain murdered Abel. Why did sin have a ripple effect on the relationship between brothers in the family? It was because Cain was jealous of Abel, his younger brother, and could not accept Abel being better than him and God being pleased with his younger brother. Cain not only could not accept himself but also others. This is another kind of behavior after man had sinned. People get jealous as they could not accept themselves being inferior to others or others being stronger than them.

In Genesis 11, people started to build the tower of Babel to reach heavens so as to glorify their own names. What is this called? It is pride, being proud of oneself. We see that the sins in our inner being not only had a ripple effect on the family but it also had extended its effects to the society and to the whole world. They built the tower of Babel because they were unwilling to accept their present condition. They wanted to deify themselves and become infinite. However, this is impossible! The existence of humans is finite as they were formed from the dust of the ground. When people cannot accept their own limitations, they will start to fall. In other words, there is a limit to the creation of Adam. He did not sin because of his limitation. He sinned as he could not accept his own limitation. This was when he started to sin.

How can people reconcile the relationship with themselves?

First of all, we have to take a glimpse of the human beings and ourselves from the biblical perspective and from the perspective on human nature. The Bible clearly tells us that the humans are created in the image of God so we possess the image of God. Therefore, the humans are very honorable. We have to value ourselves and not reduce ourselves to beasts and physical substances. People are above material things and possess the honorable image of God so the human nature is of honor.

On the other hand, the Bible tells us that the humans are formed from the dust of the ground. Even though Adam and Eve represent the human race, they are just a pile of dust. We understand the human nature from this perspective. Although the humans are honorable and have the image of God, they are also very humble and have their limitations. They will ultimately leave this world and return to the dust of the ground. Thus, people do not need to elevate or look down on themselves – not to feel inferior or proud. This is wisdom.

Therefore, people must learn to accept themselves and not compare themselves with others. I am who I am but not who you are; and vice versa. Therefore, I will be who I am and you will be who you are. If everyone plays his role, who will then play my role? As humans, we should not put ourselves above others because if we do, others will be below us. It is unfair to them. Therefore, we should live well as humans and not put ourselves above or below others. This is the teaching from the Bible.

Seeing the human beings from the historical perspective

Other than looking at the human beings from the perspective on human nature, the Bible helps us to see the human beings from the historical perspective. First of all, mankind had sinned in the past and had become sinners. This means that from the historical records, mankind had committed acts that were not pleasing to God and were sinners. There is sin in the innermost being of the human beings. Once a lady was being interviewed, she said frankly, “I am not so noble like what others think. Actually, I am like others. It is just that no one mentions it.” We all know that there is darkness in our innermost being. On the surface, we can apply make up to look beautiful but we know very well that ugliness and darkness exist in our innermost being. This should not be the reason for our negativity and self-indulgence. From the historical perspective, we have another important message of God sending His only son into the world to die for our sins. He has enabled us to be people of His grace. Therefore, we should respond actively to the love and calling that God has given us at that moment in history. The Lord wants us to return to Him, be on the right track to build a harmonious relationship with Him and to reconcile with ourselves. Thereafter, we will take a step to build harmonious interpersonal relationships. This is “the gospel of peace”.

How should we respond?

From the biblical perspective on human beings, we are honorable and loved by God regardless of the perception on human nature or history. Therefore, we need to start learning how to love and respect ourselves. When a person can fully accept oneself, it is called self-love. Possessing self-esteem is having faith in our self-worth – I believe in myself and is a worthy person. This is self-esteem.

Dear brothers and sisters, when a person establishes his self-esteem and self-love, he is a blessed person. May the Lord help us to respect and cherish ourselves. We have the image of God and yet know our humble status and limitations so let us be humble people. On the other hand, we confess that we are sinners and trust in Jesus Christ who loves us and has redeemed us, thereby allowing Him to be the Lord in our lives so that we are people of His grace. In this way, we are His blessed people!

Let us pray together!

Dear Heavenly Father, we are thankful that we are people of Your grace in Jesus Christ. Even though we know that we have hidden sins in our lives that are yet to be revealed and things that are not brought to the light, we are redeemed and forgiven in You. May You restore the harmonious relationship that we have with You so that we can accept and respect ourselves, and have wonderful lives. Lord, this is what pleases You. God, may You help us. We pray in the holy name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

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