Everyone loves a good love story! I am sure you do, too!

Boy Meets Girl, Boy and Girl Fall in Love, Get Married, Live Happily Ever After ….    

Or was it? Kate’s marriage to Dick Cheah was different.

Kate first met Dick Cheah when she was 13 years old. Being neighbours, Kate’s brother and sisters were friends with Dick. But Kate, though acquainted with him, hardly talked with him.

The years passed quickly. When Kate was in her mid-thirties, she was given the opportunity to take a course in the Teaching of English as a Foreign Language at the Institute of Education, University of London. Before she left, Dick gave her a gold chain and a cross. She refused his gifts and even told him that it was very possible that she might meet her life partner in the UK and settle there. But Dick was unruffled; he merely requested that she keep the gifts as mementos. Kate did just that.

During the last few months of her course in London, Kate suffered bouts of stomach pains. When she came back to Singapore, the pains returned. X-rays were taken but nothing abnormal showed up. Each time the pain recurred, she would see the gynaecologist but the doctor dismissed these as part of Kate’s imagination.

One night, the pain was so acute and she vomited a greenish fluid.  Her sister rushed her to hospital. She needed an operation immediately. She prayed, “Father God, I commit my life into your hands.”

After the operation, she was told that a cyst in her ovary was removed. The ovarian cyst was the size of a fist – and already breaking up! Any more delay, it would have threatened her life! The cyst was sent for a biopsy and thankfully, it was benign! Praise God!

Kate was hospitalized for 8 days and Dick took leave from work to visit her every day. He would see to it that she took her medicine, cut fruit for her to eat, get water for her to drink, ensure her pillows were comfortable and so on.

Kate casually told Dick that she might never have children. Dick replied, “If God wants us to have children, He will give them to us.’ These words touched Kate’s heart.

After her recovery, they started dating but Kate’s family was not happy. Every time Kate returned home after a date, her family would voice their displeasure as they were very concerned about Kate. They were afraid she would end up being very unhappy if they got married. Dick was a gambler and he drank. Kate’s second sister, a medical doctor, knew that Dick had a liver problem which could develop into liver disease. Besides, they had different levels of commitment to the Christian faith. This sister told her mother who also discouraged Kate from seeing Dick. To avoid her second sister at church on Sundays, she and Dick attended another church.

Seeing this disharmony within their family, Kate’s eldest sister told Dick to forget about Kate and give her up. But Dick said, “As long as she is not married, I still have a chance.” When Kate heard this, her heart warmed up towards him even more.

But deep inside her was a tussle. Although she didn’t want to end her friendship with Dick, she did not wish to marry him either.

On many levels, they were not well-matched:

• Dick had a background of gambling and drinking and had a long-term liver problem; Kate never gambled, was a teetotaler and after the cyst operation, reasonably healthy.
• Dick was not as well-educated as Kate. But he was sincere and hardworking and gradually became a Nursing Officer.
• Though Dick believed in Jesus, their spiritual levels were unequal.

But the Lord seemed to be directing Kate to marry Dick. Although Kate liked Dick, she didn’t really love him. How could you marry someone you didn’t love? But if she ended the relationship, she felt it was unfair to Dick. One night when Dick saw Kate home and they were standing at the garden gate, she told him she had no love for him. His reply was, “I hope you’ll learn to love me.”

Then Kate’s niece, Janet, told her the story of Neivelle Tan. Neivelle was an ex-drug addict who had been in and out of jail over 14 years – for drugs, robbery, arms-trafficking and even manslaughter. He escaped being hung as he was only seventeen at the time. In jail, he was a not an easy prisoner to watch over. But through a series of events, Jesus Christ changed him totally. Now if Jesus could turn a hardened criminal right round, couldn’t Dick be changed too?

Kate’s emotions went up and down, like a roller coaster. In her desperation, she put a ‘fleece’ – a test – like Gideon in the Bible, before the Lord.  She came up with a list of questions that she would ask Dick’s doctor. If the answers were satisfactory, it would be in Dick’s favour. The doctor gave a favourable report but Kate was still not at peace.

Kate even asked her gynaecologist if she could get married. The doctor asked why not – to Kate’s delight. But she still had many questions and was not settled in her heart.

Over and over, Kate brought all her concerns to the Lord. God began to specifically speak to her through the Bible, through people, circumstances, the Keswick hymnbook and even through a devotional named God Calling. A devotional is a book with a reading passage based on Scripture for each day. She  decided to circle the date and give a number each time God spoke to her through God Calling. She started reading on 1st January 1975. Some 11 months later, by November 1975, she had circled more than 90 times.

For Kate, marrying Dick was a step of obedience and faith. By her own choice, she would not have married Dick. But God was their matchmaker and gave her the peace and assurance when she decided to obey. They were married on 29 November 1975 – 4 months after the operation to remove the ovarian cyst and 24 years after their first meeting!

Difficulties

Life after marriage was not a bed of roses. Owning and financing a new home for newlyweds is always difficult. But God paves the way if we look to Him. Dick was a civil servant so he could apply for government housing. The deadline for application was long past (it was in the previous year) but the housing officer asked Dick to try anyway. Then just 2 weeks after their attempt, they received a letter telling them that they would be allocated a flat!

Finance was a problem, especially when the children arrived. The couple had taken out 2 big loans to help pay for their new apartment. Nearly a third of their combined income was spent on the repayment of these loans. So, they did practical things, like selling their car and giving private tuition.

Kate learn that submission and love for her husband – as outlined in the Bible – not only changed her; it changed him too! God changed her attitude towards him, and he in turn, was drawn closer to God. He stopped gambling and drinking for good. Over time, her family members observed a change in Dick and their own attitudes also changed. They came to accept him as a family member. Soon he had developed a habit of going to church, rain or shine. And if his family couldn’t go that Sunday e.g. when the children fell ill, he would go his own. A few years later, he joined one and later, two Bible Cell groups! He asked questions; he prayed; he testified. Kate witnessed the visible change in him – Dick became more and more Christ-like as he read and studied the Bible. He endured and tolerated Kate’s irritation when she returned from a hard day’s work. He was willing to open their home for Bible studies and to people who needed a place to stay. When Kate’s mum was dying of cancer, he had his mother-in-law live in their home so that Kate could take care of her better.

If a person allows Jesus to be Lord of his or her life, he or she becomes a different person. When Christ is Lord, the Christian is able to let go of his own rights and possessions, and be more helpful, more loving and even sacrificial in character.

Dick was diagnosed with liver cancer in December 1995. 2 months after this, he passed away.

Kate says, “Dick had crossed another Garden Gate – but this time to meet the One who has always loved him since the beginning, the Lord Jesus Christ. My greatest comfort is that as Christians, we have the glorious hope that one day we will meet again in Heaven.

A marriage based on feelings of love alone cannot stand the storms of life. When feelings are gone, the marriage breaks down. Because I knew it was God’s will for me to marry Dick, I was able to stand on the promises of God. It helped me to go through the storms in my life and in our marriage.

After Dick surrendered his life to the Lord, he joined not one but two cell groups. He grew strong in his faith and his life changed. It was then that I began to like him and love him. Now that he has gone home to be with the Lord, I miss him.”

For Kate and Dick, First, Marriage, then Love is possible because God is their Matchmaker. Join us next week as we hear how God works through their children.