Repentance results not just in crying, but in actual change, real transformation. In the last episode, we heard how Francis and Dorothy attended a marriage course together. A statement made by the facilitator struck Francis deeply - “There are consequences when you break this marriage covenant.” God was at work then and His ways are amazingly perfect for Francis to take note, even from the very first session of the marriage course. Faith is important too for Matthew 19:26 says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible”. Surely, when one walks in faith, light on the pathway is not far off.  Today, let us see what Francis and Dorothy experienced when they applied the lessons learnt. 

At the end of the ‘Marriage Encounter Weekend’ seminar, opportunity was given for couples to renew their vows. Francis and Dorothy diligently prepared everything. They were very excited and looked forward to this significant event. The announcer began, “Please get your rings ready for the ring exchange.” Horrified, they looked at each other and at their naked hands – they had forgotten the rings! Dorothy whispered to Francis, “Never mind, it’s not important.”  But he felt it was unacceptable. 

“I had to do something about it. I spotted two paper clips on a table littered with lecture notes and napkins, I quickly and unobtrusively tried to shape two paper clips into some semblance of wedding bands. Our crude rings were… how to describe … unique.” 

Dorothy seemed satisfied with the two plain, bent wire loops. The loops – with no jewels nor adornment - would never fit neatly on any human finger, but Dorothy looked very satisfied with them. The two ‘rings’ were undeniably vital.

“I, Francis, take you, Dorothy, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my lover. In the presence of God, I give you my solemn vow to love you in sickness and in health, in good times, and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honour and respect you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.” Francis hoped that his unwavering tone carried sincerity and that his eyes reflected reassurance to Dorothy.

Then it was Dorothy’s turn. She squeezed his hands firmly to express her sincerity. Francis and Dorothy paid close attention to the pastor’s prompts, and repeated them word for word because both were determined to get every part of their vow correct, especially Francis.

“I meant every word I said to her. Because of all the storms, the blunders and the pain we had weathered, we had matured. I understood the meaning of my vows at a much deeper level than when I had first pronounced them 12 years ago.”  Dorothy’s eyes welled up with tears at every word. Francis felt new remorse for all that he had put her through and he promised himself that he would take the rest of his life to make it up to her. Both were very sure that their re-commitment to each other was real and permanent. 

Although there were 30 other couples in the ballroom all saying the vows at the same time, Francis felt there was only God, the pastor, Dorothy and him in that special and sacred moment. 

At the end of the session, I kissed Dorothy’s cheek and sneaked in a “I love you”. Upon returning to Singapore, we headed to a jewellery shop and we picked a matching pair of slim diamond studded bands in white gold. Since then, my wedding ring has never left my finger, just as I will never leave this marriage again.

From the marriage course and seminars, Francis learnt that forgiveness means wiping the slate clean every day. Without forgiveness, a marriage would grind to a halt because of all the accumulated offences and resentment. God tells us in Matthew 6:14-15 that “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Francis felt a strong conviction that he must apologise to Dorothy’s family, from the oldest member to the youngest. Only a sincere apology could persuade his in-laws to trust him again.  Besides, he desired their blessings for Dorothy and Benjamin to move back and live with him.  Francis swallowed his pride and he experienced, perhaps for the first time, that the most important lesson is always the most difficult to apply! So, he prayed very hard – he prayed that his in-laws would be receptive; he prayed that he would say the right words and he even prayed that he would not chicken out at last minute!

When Francis was ready, he formally requested his father-in-law for an appointment to visit the family. On that day, Francis brought fruits and cake, and his grandmother and uncle accompanied him. Dorothy’s parents, sister and brother-in-law were at home waiting for their arrival. The meeting went on much better than what Francis had feared as everyone was warm and friendly. He acknowledged his wrongs and expressed his desire to start life anew with Dorothy. Then he served tea to his parents-in-law as his way of saying sorry and asking for forgiveness. “Pa, Ma, please drink tea,” he said meekly. Francis’ parents-in-law lifted the cups to their lips, signalling their approval. Francis was glad that he had persevered in this difficult and humbling task. After this, everyone drank tea; his grandmother and uncle sipped tea happily.  Little Benjamin had no clue what was happening, but he flashed Francis a huge grin.

The road to redemption is often rocky. Julie tried her best to win Francis back with many lies and tricks, even after he had set up a new home with Dorothy and Benjamin. Francis recognised that any form of interaction with Julie would drag all of them on a downward spiral. To end this, Francis cut off all communication with her completely.

Without God, we are nothing at all. With God leading the way, Francis felt an urgent necessity to proclaim the truth about his mother. He wanted to reinstate his mother with the proper recognition that she so rightfully deserved all these years. It was also important for the next generation – his son and his cousins – to know who she is. He discussed it with Dorothy and she fully agreed. And God’s timing is always wonderful as Mother’s Day was just around the corner.

Francis planned to celebrate Mother’s Day in his aunt’s home, a place where his family usually gathered for Sunday tea. His grandmother, mother, uncles, aunts and his three cousins were there too. Before the cake was brought out, Francis announced that Shirley is his mother, and not his sister. His uncles and aunts were relieved from the burden of hiding the truth for so many decades. His uncles’ wives and their children were of course, shocked.  But, in the end, all accepted the news and congratulated Francis’ mother. And Francis’ mother? She was set free! It was a momentous event for her that she celebrated Mother’s Day for the first time as a mother. Francis’ move set everyone free from living a terrible lie.

When things got very nasty between Francis and Dorothy, Francis’ conscience was clear that he did not start out in marriage planning to cheat Dorothy. Instead, he valued his marriage vows and Dorothy is not one of his women. She is his only woman. That is the reason Francis never considered a divorce. Also, he would never divorce Dorothy to marry another girl because family remained important to him. 2 Timothy 4:18 says, “The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom”. Francis’ repentance set him free from the knots with which he had bound himself for years. God is truly the answer to many of his problems!

God works miracles for He opened Francis’ eyes that marriage is His idea and marriage is for life. Marriage is not just a promise a couple makes to each other. Rather, marriage is a covenant in the sight of God. Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps”. God intentionally magnified the sacred union at the beginning of the marriage course for Francis to see what he had overlooked in the past. Yes, marriage is a gift from God. It provides a relationship through which husband and wife support each other, with the relationship built on love. Undoubtedly, marriage requires falling in love many times and always with the same person. 

Francis, Dorothy and Benjamin eventually moved into a brand-new house. Dorothy thought their old wedding portrait would make their cosy home perfect. She knew Francis had been storing it at his rented place, so she asked him. But Francis told her that Julie had destroyed it. However, Dorothy was not saddened; in fact, she was not surprised because she recognised that Julie was also a victim in that complicated situation.  

Next week is our last episode.  Do join us to see God’s miraculous hands upon their lives.