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[Life Testimony] Dancing through the Seasons (09)

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  • [Life Testimony] Dancing through the Seasons (09)
Joyce Ewing-Chow
06 Sep 2018

Hello friends, welcome again.

Years ago, there were some popular sentimental songs. Gene Kelly sang ‘I’m Singing in the Rain’ and Barbra Streisand’s popular hit was ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade’. Do you remember them? These two songs reflect much on today’s sharing. Joyce knows these sentiments very well in her relationship with her daughter, Emily. We will also hear Josephine’s story and how Jesus led her through the healing dance.

Like the weather, there are many things in life we cannot control. Joyce asked herself, “What would I do in a storm?” Sometimes storms descend upon us without warning and we cannot control its occurrence either. The only thing Christians can do is to run to Jesus for shelter and protection.

Joyce summarised her interactions with her daughter, Emily, in two simple words: stormy weather. According to Joyce, Emily is a strong-minded and even stronger-willed young adult. “Many times we have had differences of opinions, and flare-ups have occurred when neither was willing to concede to the other.” But in recent years, the Lord taught Joyce to sing in the rain.

She has come to realise that she can’t control another person’s decisions. People have their sovereign rights to their preferences and choices, and so does Emily. Jesus taught Joyce to hear Emily’s real cry behind her protest, “Don’t rain on my parade!” as she objected to Joyce’s interference on her choice of friends, lifestyle and church to belong to. Joyce wanted very much to protect Emily, to draw her under her wings like a hen trying to protect her chick. But Emily felt that was stifling her growth and development into her own person. Being more experienced and wiser, Joyce could see that some of Emily’s choices would have unhappy consequences. But the Lord taught her not to fight and get into a storm with Emily. Instead, He taught Joyce to demonstrate the posture of faith and simply ‘sing in the rain’.

Joyce prayed for her feisty daughter daily and felt led to fast for the mending of their relationship. Jesus says in John 20: 26 & 29, “Peace be with you! … Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” The Lord changed Joyce during the season of fasting. She saw Emily through new eyes: an adventurous, vivacious and winsome child who rode a two-wheeler bicycle without fear. Standing in the wings was the overly-anxious mother ready to catch Emily when she fell - which she never did. Joyce failed to celebrate Emily’s vitality and fearless pursuit of life. In her over-concerned anxiety and in the name of love, Joyce had instead created a chasm between Emily and her. Over the years the rift had widened. But our good God, in His mercy, drew her attention to this negligence.

In one particular stormy battle of the wills, Emily tearfully retorted, “Mum, I’m more like you than you think!” The Holy Spirit magnified the volume of those words a hundredfold. Joyce stood rooted to the spot, mouth open, with no words in response.

“It is true,” God’s still small voice affirmed. Joyce began to see herself in Emily. Until recent years, Joyce herself had been in a love-hate relationship with her own mother.

Joyce’s father had died when she was a little girl. Being a widow, Joyce’s mother had to give up her month-old baby boy to her rich brother-in-law and his wife. The man had said that a young mother wouldn’t be able take care of two children without a husband. The young widow then moved with her mother and daughter Joyce from Malaysia to Singapore. She worked as a domestic helper and managed to put Joyce through school.

Joyce’s mother was deeply hurt by how her rich brother-in-law and wife had treated her. She insisted that Joyce studied hard and make something of her life. Otherwise, Joyce would be despised by the rich. So Joyce was put under a great deal of pressure to conform to her expectations. Joyce disclosed, “She was a hard woman to please. I wanted her unconditional love but received only her relentless lectures on how to be somebody! When I was in my teens, I rebelled against this smothering environment and did badly in school. I threw myself into sports and the fun of vacation camps run by the Girls’ Brigade. It was by the grace of God and through the loving concern of my teachers and officers in the Girls’ Brigade that I came to know Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour.”

Joyce sees the similar struggles for identity and acceptance in Emily and asked her for her forgiveness. Joyce realised that she had been insensitive and negligent. In her weakness, she had hurt Emily. Thank God that He intervened to reconcile them. Joyce learnt a lesson in recognising the limitation of her humanity, just as she cannot be in control of the weather. But Joyce learnt to dance by yielding to the Lord’s heartbeat of compassion. She released Emily into God’s all-loving hands and she is confident that in His wisdom, He will lead Emily into her God-given destiny.

As she learnt to sing in the rain, she discovered that ‘less is more’. In her waltz of restoration with her daughter. Joyce detailed the steps:

Less speaking, more listening

Less telling her what to do, more trusting God to do His work in her

Less fretting, more smiles

Less rush, more rest

Less strife, more surrender

Less fear, more faith

Less stress, more serenity

Life under one roof with Emily has improved tremendously. Now, the young adult wants her mother to pray with her daily before she sets off to work. Today, Joyce resolves to keep in step with the Lord as He shows her how to sing and dance in the rain by eliminating the past baggage of insecurities and to simply love.

 

Josephine’s Dance

 

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand” (Psalm 40: 1 & 2)

 

Josephine grew up in a Christian family. But as a child, her parents told her that she was a mistake and an unnecessary burden to the family. She constantly heard these words and they resulted in her life-long struggle to find her identity and significance. Thank God, the Lord intervened.

In her young adulthood, Josephine was marvellously revived and became part of a growing church where she felt fulfilled. She enjoyed her time in her ministry at church and found it very meaningful. But God does not see as man sees - God looks at the heart. Moreover, God doesn’t look on as a disinterested observer. He is actively at work in our lives. Philippians 2: 13 (NKJV) says, “for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure”.

The Lord saw a deep unmet need in her life and unless it was dealt with, Josephine could never fulfil what God had purposed for her. He proceeded to allow events to take place in her life which would birth in her such a desperate cry for Him to heal and set her free completely. That journey would involve many years and much pain. But now as Josephine looks back, it has all been worth it.

Internal conflict arose in the church. As it involved people who were close to her, she was overwhelmed, confused and distressed. The devil often adds guilt and condemnation to our strife to overcome anger, bitterness and resentment towards people for how they treated us. None of us are innocent, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. (Roman 3: 23)

When it threatened to drown her, the Lord provided opportunity for Josephine to be sent overseas as a missionary. “He does not tempt us beyond what we cannot bear but with the temptations, He makes a way of escape” (1 Corinthians 10:13). It was totally unexpected but that was God’s healing plan for her.

On the mission field, Josephine threw herself into ministering to those the Lord sent to her door. Outwardly, she stood tall and ministered to people whom she felt were more in need than her. But inwardly, she was bent over from the load of guilt and unworthiness she carried since childhood and compounded by the hurtful experiences she had known as an adult. However, the Lord brought a number of special people into her life. They repeatedly spoke words of affirmation, acceptance and encouragement. Many, including anointed intercessors, prayed for her. Without a doubt, they provided the foundation on which further steps of healing could take place.

When it was time to return to Singapore, Josephine was very reluctant to leave her safe haven. She didn’t relish the idea of going back to the painful past. But God had different ideas! He knew that she was ready for the next step. And He wanted to heal her completely.

En route back to Singapore, Josephine signed up to attend a weekend Encounter seminar. She felt the course was designed for her and was excited about it. But later she was informed that the course was cancelled. Desperate, she asked the host church to let her join any group that would be holding an Encounter weekend.

She couldn’t give up on the search for inner healing and kept pestering the pastor-in-charge. Finally, he managed to fit Josephine into a small group which had miraculously come together for a weekend of prayer and ministry.

When the ministers prayed over her in one of the sessions, Josephine saw the Lord rolling her shame away. His gentle Spirit assured her He would complete the work of healing and restore her fully. She shed tears like a torrent of flood waters. All her guilt and shame were washed away setting her free to trust again. The experience with the love of the Father started her on the second phase of her journey towards healing.

As she resumed ministry in her home church, Josephine felt she hadn’t been fully healed from the previous season but she did feel the presence of the Lord working in her. Philippians 1: 6 says, “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”  Josephine believed she would be made completely whole.

Later, Josephine met a godly sister who was both a counsellor and intercessor. The two of them prayed together regularly. In one particular session, Josephine had a vision of the woman in Luke 13: 10-17 - the woman who was bent over for 18 years. As they read that portion of scripture, suddenly Josephine heard Jesus calling her as He did that woman, “Daughter of Abraham! Arise.”

In her innermost being, Josephine grabbed hold of Jesus’ extended hand of grace and mercy. The balm of His unconditional love swept over her soul and she melted in a tearful embrace with the Lover of her soul. For the first time in her life, Josephine saw a different view of the world. She saw the smiling face of her Saviour!

At last, Josephine knew that goodness and mercy would surely follow her as she dances with Him all the way home. And this dance step is “Crippled no more. Rise up and walk!” In her testimony, Josephine reminds parents that their words have  great impact on their children; their words should always build their children up and help them recognise they are precious, valued and important in the sight of God.

Impactful stories, aren’t they? Let us meet again next week and see the goodness of God together.

 

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