The Grace of Redemption

Life on the Run

The Testimony of Tan Beng Loo

Welcome to another episode of The Grace of Redemption on Global Reachout.  In this series, we have the opportunity to hear stories of people whose lives have been dramatically changed through personal encounters with Jesus Christ.  In today’s episode, we will listen to the story of Tan Beng Loo, who left a self-destructive lifestyle to live for the Lord.

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Youth is a beautiful time, a time to be celebrated, and a time to be remembered fondly about.  Beng Loo’s youth, however, was empty and forlorn.

At age 15, Beng Loo decided how he would life his life.  He started smoking, and became rebellious, combative, and belligerent.  He joined gangs and often became involved in brawls and fights.  He quit school, drifted around, and was always looking for trouble so he could be a “hero.”  His life was turned upside-down one bright, sunny day when he accepted a pill from a friend.

“I swallowed the pill without thinking.  Little did I know that I would be mired in drugs for 16 years.”

Beng Loo often mixed different drugs, such as heroin and ketamine, in order to get “higher.”  To support his addiction, he started engaging in many different illicit businesses, including selling fake watches and expired foodstuff by changing the labels.  He soon paid the price after he was nabbed and sent to jail.

“Although I was arrested four times, I did not learn my lesson.  I only blamed my luck for not running away fast enough.”  After his release he continued in his old ways and buried himself in drug consumption and trafficking.  He was only 21.

One day while he was home, he started consuming drugs in the presence of his family members.  He soon had an overdose and became delirious.  He started threatening his mother, and demanded money from her.  At the same time, he got into a fight with his elder brother, and slashed his sister-in-law with a knife.  In the midst of this chaos, the police and ambulance arrived.  Beng Loo did not want to be arrested and jailed again.  He dashed out of the door and ran to the upper floors of his building, lost his mind, and jumped off the 6^th floor to the ground.

“When I woke up, I found myself in a hospital bed, having been unconscious for four days and nights.  I only realized with a shock the huge mess I had got myself into.  Not only had I broken the hearts of my family members, but also the ankles of both of my legs.  The doctor informed me that I would never walk normally again.”

Beng Loo lost the use of his right leg because it was not treated in time.  Anyone who observes this cripple making his way about slowly may wonder what unforgettable lessons he must have learned, and whether he has repented his ways.

“No ne can understand the excruciating pain and agonizing struggles I had in my heart during those days.  I tried in vain repeatedly to break free of drugs; I felt wretched and was deeply disappointed with myself.  Finally, I gave up the struggle.  Ignoring the tears, advice, and rebuke of my family, and even the fact that my right leg was crippled, I decided I would continue with my depraved way of life, and to live for drugs.”

According to Beng Loo, in the days that followed, he was like a high-powered vacuum cleaner, and consumed drugs with wild abandon.  He was too deep into drugs, and was trapped.  His siblings severed their ties with him because he only brought disgrace to the family.  They tried many times to evict him from the family home.  Not even the many loving, tender tears of his mother could move the frozen, drugged heart of Beng Loo.

Beng Loo was jailed again in 2001 for drug trafficking.  Locked up in a cell, he started reflecting on his life.  “Will I be spending the rest of my life in jail?  All my friends are drinking mates.  Will I be like them, and treat prison almost as my second home?”

One night, Beng Loo felt troubled, and was unable to sleep when he suddenly remembered someone.  “She was the nurse who had attended to me while I was in the hospital for my broken leg.  She told me gently about the love of God and that Jesus loved me.  Those words had pierced my heart and I shed tears of remorse.  Although I confessed my sins, I was insincere, and soon forgot all about it.  It’d been 10 years, but these words were buried deep in my heart.  At that very moment they were recalled amazingly.  This could only be the work of the Holy Spirit.  I was reminded of a loving God who was waiting for me to respond to his love.”  That night, Beng Loo finally shed tears of deep remorse.  He cast his cares before God, and let him take over his life.  He sought God’s help to know him more.

God is faithful.  He tells us:  “Seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)  The next day, Beng Loo asked for a copy of the Bible and started reading it like one who was parched, and pined for his thirst to be quenched, and he prayed earnestly.  God’s Word was like streams in the desert, nourishing his soul, and the Lord’s teachings were now being engraved on Beng Loo’s heart:  “I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)  The word of the Lord stands firm in Heaven.  When Beng Loo was willing to cast off his pride and doubts and wholeheartedly trust in God’s Word, the Lord helped him understand the truth, and gave him the resolve to forsake his past life and follow him for the rest of his life.

Besides the Bible, he also borrowed from his cellmates copies of Christian literature to read.  He began to understand more about matters of the Sprit, and to fervently seek the Lord’s guidance on how he should live his life.  He also read with great interest the testimonies of Breakthrough brothers published in the organization’s anniversary magazines.  These testimonies were like a beacon to him, and at that moment he decided he would join Breakthrough as soon as he was released so he could learn more about God.

Making the decision was simple, but when he was put to the test, his resolve would be revealed.

“Temptations greeted me the moment I stepped out of prison.  There were two persons waiting to welcome me – a brother from Breakthrough and a gangster friend.  The latter wrote a contact number on my palm, hoping to influence me.  The Breakthrough brother reminded me immediately that I had to erase the number if I was serious about changing my life.  At that instant, I made one of the most critical decisions of my life, and without any hesitation – I would go to Breakthrough for my spiritual discipline.”

This momentous choice was a watershed in Beng Loo’s life.  From that day on the Lord led him closely, and his new life started to take root and grow.  He began to life a life that God gave him, a life that he had pined for – an abundant and meaningful life.

That critical decision made in 2004 marked the start of a 15-year stay at Breakthrough for Beng Loo.

“I immersed myself fully in the Lord’s Word during my first 18 months as a brother at the center.  I focused my attention on reading and listening to every message on my faith and religion – printed and oral – so that I could understand the truth taught in the Bible.  I was subsequently promoted to helper and had the opportunity to learn more about the meaning of life for a Christian and experience the joy of life transformation.  That was when I applied to return to the prisons to serve those who were struggling in their hearts, like I was before, troubled, desolate, and in despair.  I wanted to bring them the hope of light given in our lives by God.”

As he looked at the many familiar faces he got to know during his years in prison, he felt for them deeply.  The desire to journey another mile with them gave him the motivation to serve and stay committed.  Serving in the prisons would remind him it was because of the wondrous grace of the Lord that he became who he was.  He would live to serve God and glorify him.

Many changes have taken place throughout Beng Loo’s journey.

On the day he was baptized in 2006, his sister surprised him by attending his baptism service.  The two had been estranged for years because she was disappointed with him in the past.  During a reunion dinner with his family his sister told him in an earnest and sincere voice, “You have really changed.  Even your tone of voice when you speak with me is much warmer and gentler.”

In the days when Beng Loo was taking drugs, his family saw him as a muddle-headed, good-for-nothing junkie.  In his neighborhood he was a notorious hooligan who was avoided and shunned by all.  Now that he has found freedom in Christ, not only has he broken free from his drug addiction, he has also quit smoking and drinking.  Neighbors smile at him when they meet.  All of these changes are possible because, just as the Bible tells us, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

During this time something else happened, which Beng Loo never thought possible even in his wildest dreams:  he married a social worker who hailed from Hong Kong!  He had been hesitant at first and felt inferior because of his past as a junkie and ex-offender, and he felt awkward in the company of her family and colleagues.

“I did not know how to introduce myself to her parents and friends, and tried every means to avoid having to meet them.  Were it not for the courage and blessing from God, the beautiful ending would not have been possible.”

Beng Loo was not persevering by nature, except when it came to following God and his marriage; in these he was serious and faithful.  His girlfriend’s family received him with love, and accepted him as one of their own.  God blessed them with two children after marriage, and Beng Loo’s heart overflowed with joy and thanksgiving to God for his grace on his family.

He remembers his life experience – 16 years enslaved by drugs and his descent into the pits before he came to know God.  The hand of the Lord is in his life, which was first broken, then later rebuilt and reformed, and he found his dignity and identity as a child of God.  With his new life and direction in Christ, Beng Loo presses on towards the goal set before him.  His past failures and contemptible life, the stigma of a drug addict and his inferiority complex are all behind him now.  His new life is one of hope with a bright future.  He and his wife and their two children are in God’s Kingdom, and they live to please him.  Their spirits rejoice in God their Savior, and their souls glorify the Lord.

Isn’t this an amazing story?  Our God truly is an amazing God, and his grace knows no limits.  Join us next time on The Grace of Redemption as we listen to another amazing story of God’s power in the life of another person whom the Lord has redeemed.