Hello again and welcome to this, the last programme in the series on Family Matters. In this session, we will consider the challenges face by Christian families in today’s society.

Over these weeks together, I have tried to show that the wisdom contained in Scripture is the sure foundation of family life. Almost 2 centuries ago, Paul wrote in his second letter to Timothy, chapter 3, verse 15: “The Holy Scriptures…are able to make us wise for salvation through faith in Jesus Christ”. Our help is not based on worldly knowledge, but on knowledge of God and his Word.

Wisdom begins with a relationship with God, and is nurtured through prayer and regular study of the Bible. It does not of course guarantee a trouble-free family life, but we have the assurance that our God will protect us and be with us as we tackle the ups and downs of relationships.

So, if we want to be wise in our family life, we pray, we read our Bibles in order to grow in wisdom and knowledge.

Ensuring a strong foundation for our family begins with the careful choice of a partner who shares our faith.

Open and honest communication is the key to a healthy marriage, ensuring the inevitable areas of difficulty and adjustment can be coped with.

While bringing untold joy, the addition of children also brings added responsibilities as well as opportunities for conflict.

Respecting and caring for our parents is the duty and privilege of children.

We need to deal with any legacies from the past.

We have noted that much of what we have said about birth families applies also to our church families.

In all these areas, forgiveness is the key to resolving conflict.

How do we make our family life a witness to others?

For the Christian family, one of the greatest areas of challenge is how to live a distinctively Christian life in our increasingly godless and self-centred society. Jesus’ prayer for his disciples in John 17 is that although they must live in the world, they might be protected from being sucked into its godless ways. On board a ship, we are safe from the waters around us; but should any of that water find its way into the ship, then danger threatens. In like manner, we can’t isolate ourselves from the communities in which we live, but we do need to be constantly on our guard to ensure that we are not allowing ourselves to compromise our Christian standards,

There is a disturbing account in Genesis 13 about Abraham’s nephew Lot. In order to cope with their growing numbers of cattle and sheep, it became necessary for them to separate. Abraham offered the choice of 2 areas to his nephew.  Lot chose what he thought on the face of it, looked the better land. But what he discovered was that he was then living amongst a pagan people who corrupted his thinking. We see that he was gradually being pulled away from the godly life. Chapter 19 tells how he unknowingly offered hospitality to 2 messengers of God and was put in a terrible position as a host. The wicked villagers hammered on his door, asking that these visitors come out and have a good time in a sex orgy with them. Unbelievably, Lot offered these men his daughters if they would leave the visitors alone. Hospitality to visitors was of such priority in the Middle East that Lot succumbed to the morals around him, seeing offering his daughters as the lesser of 2 evils!

Perhaps this story shocks us into thinking that we would never do such a terrible thing! Maybe not; but we do have to ask ourselves how far would we go to compromise with standards around us for the sake of peace or to be seen as fitting in. In chapter 15 verse 33 of his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul warns them: Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits.

In Romans 12.2, he urges us not to be conformed to the things of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

It may be a series of small steps which lead us gradually away from living the pure life which God demands of us. How do we maintain Biblical standards of integrity before marriage and fidelity within marriage when both go so far against the accepted standards today? What do we do as parents when our children are denied what they see their peers are receiving, or being allowed to do when our stance as Christians conflicts with the norms in society?

For example, does it really matter if our partner is not a Christian?

We can so easily be tempted to think it doesn’t. The Book of Ezra recounts the return of the Israelites from their time of captivity in Babylon and the restructuring of their society as a people of God. Ezra was a teacher who encouraged them to return to worship and obedience to the one true God. God told him that their troubles stemmed from intermarriage with the pagan people around them. God blamed not only the people who had sinned in this way, but also their leaders who had been guilty of setting a bad example. The history of God’s people recounted in the Old Testament makes it clear that intermarriage with pagans was at the root of much of their backsliding and turning away from God. Leaders today need to set the standards high if young people are not to compromise.

Raising our children to be followers of Jesus faces us with many challenges.

How difficult it is to let them go and learn to face the temptations and wiles of the world!

Mergansers are a kind of wild duck who build their nests high up in the trees. Many fledgling birds wait to develop the ability to fly before leaving the nest, but not so for the little merganser chicks. At some point, they are instructed to leap from the tree on freefall! Amazingly, they land with a bump, but are none the worse for the ordeal. Mother is waiting for them at the bottom to lead them on the next stage of the journey. Sometimes for parents, we need the courage of the mother duck to let our children jump into the big wide world with all its temptations. But the loving parent will always be nearby to guide and direct on the onward journey. In Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of a father who, with a heavy heart, agreed to give his son the share of his inheritance, certain it would result in disaster. But he let him go, all the while waiting for him to return and was ever ready to receive him with open arms.

It is always tempting as a parent to shield our children from hurt and pain, but there will be times when we need to let them go through painful experiences for their ultimate good. I vividly remember watching while a doctor realigned my son’s thumb after it was dislocated playing football. After 3 unsuccessful attempts, my son was begging me to make him stop. But I knew that unless he went through this pain, there could be no healing of the injury. There will be times when we can only stand back and allow some pain for greater gain. God himself allowed his son to through unspeakable pain for the greater good of his children.

Will our family to dare to be different?

The Book of Daniel tells the story of 4 young Jewish men taken into exile from their home to the courts of Babylon. There, in an alien culture, they were forced to make choices – would they conform to the society around them, or would they stay true to the God of Israel and make a stand for their beliefs? They chose to be different in spite of warnings from their keepers that this could lead them into trouble with officials. But God blessed them and they stood as witnesses to a God who is ever faithful. People noticed that they were different and were admiring of them.

How does our family life look to those around us. Do they see that we are different? Some indeed may mock, but more often there is a sense of envy. A notoriously infamous fruit in Malaysia is the durian – said to smell like hell and taste like heaven. Although not everyone agrees about the taste, there is no dispute about its terrible smell. You know at once if someone is carrying one, or if a store has them in stock.

It makes me think of words spoken by Paul in 2 Corinthians 2.14: Thanks be to God who…. through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.

I wonder what kind of aroma we give off to people around us. Are we grumpy and bad-tempered, always looking on the black side and making others miserable with us? Or are we like the fragrant blossom of sweet smelling flowers giving off a lovely perfume, which draws people to us to catch a whiff of what it is that makes us so attractive – the aroma of Christ.

Can our family life be so attractive to the world that they are drawn to its fragrance and so make us witnesses for Jesus by the way our family is different. Let’s resolve to give off the aroma of blossom rather than durian!

In Joshua chapter 24, we read Joshua’s stirring speech as he prepared to lead the Israelites forward into the promised land. He issued a challenge to them. Would they make the choice to renounce the pagan ways around them and be faithful to the one true God? His statement in verse of 15 of his own intentions must surely be our stance: As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Psalm 127 verse 1 tells us: Unless the lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain.

Will we make Christ the sure foundation of our family life and trust him to give us the wisdom and the courage to stand out as different in our modern world? Temptations and pitfalls are many, but we have the assurance of 1John 4.4: He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world.

Questions

How has the Bible helped you resolve difficulties in your family?

How do you deal with the temptation to compromise, especially where children are concerned?

Encourage one another with testimony to God’s faithfulness in the life of your family.