Introduction: If a person sticks to the "family priority" principle, can he do his work well? Can he get promoted in his company? The answer is "yes", but this person has to work hard and be a good employee first.

Welcome to our Global Reach-out program on Workplace Strategy.

We have talked about time management a lot in our recent episodes. Time is really precious. Not only is it a scarce resource, it can’t be stocked up like other raw materials. No matter what we do or don’t do at this moment, time is slipping away, and will never return. Because of this, it’s not easy to be a good time manager. If we are not careful, time will become a tyrant hanging over our head, and manipulating our life.

To have control over our time, we need to be people of principle. We can manage our time by following a few principles.

Today I want to share with you one of the principles of time management that people in the workplace tend to forget when they get busy. That is, no matter how important our work is, no matter how busy our work life can be, we need to remember that family comes first.

（picture from the Internet）

Why do we emphasize that family comes first? Because we notice the majority of the participants for hot topics regarding family and education are women, and a lot of them would sigh: the absence of husbands in family life makes them live like single mothers. We also see many children living like orphans even though both parents are still alive. It's very sad, because we know that the people involved in this situation must be very hurt.

Nowadays, many people still fancy that the husband should be the breadwinner while wives are the ones taking care of all the family stuff. However, in reality, it is more common to see women working like men at workplace. And besides working full time, they still need to deal with all the housework, and help kids with their studies after their 8-hour full time job at their workplace. They are always stressed out and full of complaints about this situation. And if they cannot make it, they would rather have the grandparents or babysitters taking care of the kids. But at the same time, most of the working fathers use "career first" as an excuse. After working for 8 hours, they are still involved in meetings, going to parties, etc. And when they come home, they are usually too tired to take care of any of the housework or the kids, and become irrelevant to the family.

Newer technologies are supposed to save us time and give us more space to build and develop relationships with people. But the reality is that we are getting to know more and more people online, but can develop a deep relationship with only a few of them. Even worse, we sacrifice time with our families to deal with so many people we barely know.

We have to spend time with people so that we can develop relationships with them, and viable relationships with people around us is extremely time consuming. Unfortunately, due to our utilitarian or output-oriented attitudes, we tend to spend less time with family and friends. We use up our time and energy attending meetings, participating in projects and activities. As a result, our relationships with God and the people around us become weaker, and we spend less time pondering and meditating on God's Word.

In the previous episodes, the Apostle Paul admonishes us to redeem the time because the days are evil. We see Paul using the word "redeem" to emphasize the benefits of redeeming time -- time that God has given us back from the many uses that the evil one preaches. Therefore, the reason Christians cherish time is because of the evil of this age -- the world around us is filled with ideas, values, and uses that are corrupt and contrary to God's will and plan. The Devil set up this trap, has taken them captive to do his will, and divide them from God. (Thessalonians 2:10; 2 Timothy 2:26; Revelation 12:9).

When someone has a fragile relationship with his family and friends because he is too busy at work, he won’t be able to understand who he actually is, and what his purpose is in the world. And the relationship between him and God will become too distant, so he won’t be able to maintain it.

Therefore, one of the most important purposes for time management is that so we have time for God, our families, and our friends. We need time to build deep and meaningful relationships with them. 

In our previous episode, we introduced the book “The Juggling Act: Bring Balance to Your Faith, Family and Work” by Pat Gelsinger. Pat's years at the top of Intel, one of the world's largest companies, was marked by his dedication to his work, his accomplishments, and, most impressive of all, his commitment as a husband and father. "I'm a workaholic and a great husband," he says proudly. To him, family responsibilities are more important than his work.

Many couples complain about how their children have become the focus of their family life. They pour all their money, time, and affection into them. They can't even remember the last time they spent with their spouses. But Pat kept his dating habit after he got married. Nothing is allowed to interfere with their marriage – not work, and not even their children are not allowed to interfere with their relationship. Once, Pat was on a business trip to Asia, but it was also his wife’s birthday. What should he do? Many of us might say: We have been together for so many years, and it doesn’t matter if we are not there to celebrate their birthday.  A phone call would be good enough! However, Pat booked a hotel in advance, invited all of his wife's close friends, planned a romantic celebration, flew back to the United States on his wife's birthday to celebrate the day with her, and then immediately flew back to Asia to continue his work.

（picture from the Internet）

Pat is also a good father. He and his wife have four children, and Pat takes one of them out to breakfast alone once a week, so he can have quality, one-on-one time with each of them. Besides his wife, he also set up “dates” with his children, too!

How can a "Workaholic" who has achieved so much in his career still have time to spend with his family? Pat says that's because "I'm incredibly disciplined when it comes to time - the most precious resource God has given everyone.” "The Juggling Act" was written in his spare time, during flight delays, or on long flights. This way, he doesn’t have to spend extra time writing the book and spend less time with his family.

Pat has created a 'monitoring scale' to assess how much time he spends with his family. We can make use of it as a reference. This "monitoring scale" goes as follows: If Pat is home before 5pm, add two points; Arriving home before 6:15 p.m. : 1 point; Getting home after 6:15 or staying out all night, 0 points; Minus 1 point for not being home on weekends. At the end of each month, Pat will summarize and analyze his score. If he has a negative score, he will quickly adjust the way he works and make sure he makes up the "lost" points. For example, he would prefer to have a conference call instead of taking the time to travel somewhere for a face-to-face meeting. He won’t answer any phone calls during first 20 minutes after he gets home. He also says "no" to jobs that might get him a promotion but deprive him of family time.

Once, Pat was in charge of a presentation at a personal computer show. Before the show and product launch date were set, Pat's family had already decided to go on vacation together. The president of the company took a great interest in the project and was disappointed when he learned that Pat was not going to change his vacation plans for the project, and expressed his displeasure with Pat on different occasions. Looking back, Pat says that in the future, if there was a conflict like this, "I would re-arrange my work, but I still wouldn't change my family vacation plans."

Will a person who sticks to his principle of "family first" still be promoted in the workplace? Can he still be put into important positions in his company? Pat's answer is "yes". "The premise is that you work tirelessly, be a good employee, and make yourself a ‘bank account of long-term value’ to your boss. If you always work hard, but choose your family when there’s conflict between work and family, the company may not be happy with your decision at this particular moment, but you will be judged on your consistent performance because the ‘account balance’ you have accumulated will make up for the ‘overdraft.’"

So friends, are you always so busy that you don’t even have time for your family and friends? Maybe what we really need is not more time, but have more “self-discipline”.  Just like Pat Gelsinger, when we are making use of the most valuable resource God has given to us - our time, we need to be very strict about it.

Most of us would say that we love our family, and because of that, we have to spend time with them. Let’s all spend some time with our family members, and build blessed relationships at home.

I hope today’s program helps you to find a better balance between your job and your family.  Please join us again for the next episode of “Workplace Strategy!”

Reference：

【职场灵粮1164】蒙福的关系(23)

“The Juggling Act: Bring Balance to Your Faith, Family and Work” by Pat Gelsinger