Dear Brothers and Sisters, Shalom.

I am Won KIM voicing Pastor Caleb Soo. We will carry on with “Self-image of the Disciple”, Lesson Two in the book “Values for the Modern Disciple”.

Whether one achieves anything in his life is closely related to his self-image. Whether he can be used by God is linked in the same way as well. In the Bible in the book of Romans chapter 12 verse 3, it reads, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”

Some people always step aside and let others take up the task, feeling that they can never perform as well as others. This may not be a show of humility, but a reflection of his self-abasement. At the other end, there are some people who always feel that they are capable of performing any task. That may not be a show of self-confidence, either; it could just be a display of self-conceit.

It is, therefore, all the more important for us to discern if we are looking at ourselves in a sober and clear-headed manner and building up a healthy self-image.

Signs of a Poor Self-image

The expression ‘self-image’ refers to how one looks at oneself. While there are people who think too highly of themselves, some others would position themselves at the other end of the spectrum as they wallow in self-abasement. What are the signs of someone with a poor self-image?

Someone with a poor self-image projects a lack of self-confidence. He would invariably decline to take on a new task when approached by his superior or pastor. Why is that so? This is because he harbours an inner fear that he may make a mess of the job, or is worried that he is not able to meet the requirements. All of these point to a lack of confidence within himself. Would any boss think highly of such an employee? Would he be able to serve others well?

Not at all. Such a person is held back by his own poor self-esteem.

  Such a person would often shut himself off from others.  He would always clam up at a meeting or when he is amongst a group of people discussing over some topic. He lacks the courage to speak up and opts to keep mum altogether. He is afraid of being made fun of, or worse, facing rejection altogether, as if someone is waiting to pounce on him, saying, “Hey, how can you say that! Your views are way off!” As a result, he withdraws into his shell and become ‘invisible’.

Someone with a poor self-esteem would invariably look on the dark side of everything around him. If you pass him a half-filled glass, he would be mulling, “Why am I getting only half a glass of water?” His mind would just focus on what is not there, a common trait of someone who is negative or passive.

On the other hand, another person with a positive mindset would immediately respond with a cheerful “thank you” as he just notices the water and none of the emptiness within the vessel. This contrasts sharply against the earlier person, who is obsessed with the idea that he is always less skillful than other people. Can someone with such a mentality go far?

 Additionally, someone with a poor self-image would occasionally act in a quirky manner, or say something to shock those around him. This is done with the intention to grab their attention, in the hope of drawing applause from his audience. Such a person easily shows his narrow-mindedness, and will also become jealous readily. This reminds me of the ugly witch in the kid’s tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The witch could not accept the fact that Snow White was more beautiful than her. In other words, she was unable to accept herself. You see, someone who is unable to accept others would not be able to accept himself/herself either, as both traits stem from a narrow mindset. Such a person cannot communicate well with others, and is not being a team-player either. Thus, it is very difficult for him to get ahead in his career. 

People with a low self-esteem have another trait: he loves to pick on others, as if that would set him a cut above the rest. It serves to cover up his own shortcomings too! “If I can point out someone’s fault, wouldn’t it show that I am the better person?” Beware! He who indulges in bad-mouthing others is a gossiper; soon, you will be the butt of his idle talk! Such behavior reflects the sense of insecurity lurking within him. What a shame!

This person may end up as a despicable boot-licker to protect himself from being assaulted. He would never speak his mind at meetings so as to be free from any responsibility whatsoever. He has neither the guts to act, nor the confidence to bear any responsibility. He refuses to be accountable for anything, as he is chained to the low self-esteem within him.   

Finally, such people weighed down by his low self-image do not have the guts to face failure. Any failure would be multiplied a thousand times in his echo chamber, enough to make him keel over. To him, it means that he is good-for-nothing, the scum of the earth. It is for this that he dares not stand up to failure, and instead, turns to blaming the next guy, or find something to take the rap: for instance, it was the bad weather, or he had been drawn by someone into becoming a die-hard gambler, the cause of his miserable condition. Candidly put, “it is all YOUR fault!”

Dear brothers and sisters, now that you are aware of how important self-image is, let us see how you rate yourself. Can you discern those struggling around you, those under the curse of poor self-esteem? Some introspection is needed to guide us out of this dark valley. Yes, we need to acquire a self-esteem that is right and healthy!

How Self-image Is Formed

 This begs the question: how does one’s self-image come about? Well, the factors have been broadly grouped into innate and acquired ones. Innate factors include a healthy body, sound mental faculties, a good bearing and a conducive family background. If someone is born into a good environment, with a healthy upbringing by loving and responsible parents, such innate factors would be helpful towards growing a healthy self-image.

Overlaying these are the acquired factors such as education, family influences, shifts in surroundings, intellectual growth, financial standing, life experiences – all of these will impact one’s self-image in unique ways.

Dear brothers and sisters, take a look at your own past and ask yourself which factors, innate or acquired, have made you, for better or for worse, into what you are today? Do you see yourself as healthy or in bad shape? Trace the situation strand by strand and deal with each one accordingly. Change would be beyond me if the factor is innate, so I shall take it upon myself to accept them. For example, if I were born with some physical defect, it could have caused my self-image to take a hit. However, I can work on myself to do better and work harder on my intellectual abilities to make up for these deficiencies. At the same time, I shall work to up-lift my self-image. That is pivotal.

How Value is Being Measured

Someone with a high self-esteem would see himself to be of higher value. How can we tell if someone has any value at all? This, too, is something that is worthy for us to share and check out.

Psychologists point out that the appearance, accomplishment and status of a person is generally used to assess his value. In short, all that matters is what he possesses or what he has achieved.

Thus, the more you possess, the higher your value. If you have achieved something grand, made outstanding contributions that bring blessings to many people, your value would increase. That is generally how people assess the value of a person.

Now, our values would, in turn, impact how we look at ourselves or others around us. If I set my standards on what people see from the outside, I will end up marrying someone who is good looking. If I care about what he possesses, I will look for someone rich to be my other half. Thus, if I apply these measures to myself, I will proceed towards this direction. I will work hard to affirm myself and determine my value according to what I possess and achieve as seen from the outside.

The Value of Mankind in the Bible

Dear brothers and sisters, The Bible teaches us differently. We need to return to the Bible to see our self-image. In the Bible in the book of Genesis chapter 1 verses 26-27, it reads: Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So, God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

When mankind was created, what was it that made him stand out from the rest, coming with distinctive honour and value?  This verse shows us clearly that each person is unique like no other. The word “mankind” (in the phrase “He made mankind”) used in the English translation is singular in the Hebrew language. In other words, it can be translated as “each person as made by God.” God created each person differently, just as no two snowflakes are identical to each other. Each person is an elaborate masterpiece crafted by His own Hands. Hence, there is no need for anyone to compare with someone or fight to be his equal; nor is there a need to be above someone else, because he would then be below me. That cannot be right. You are no one but yourself, and have to accept yourself as such -- no one else can replace you. If everyone seeks to become someone else, who would take your place then? You are no one but yourself, so do your part well.

God is honorable. He created us in his own image, which means that we are honorable too. Why do we say that God is honorable then? In the verse, “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image...”, the word translated into “us” in English is an honorific plural in the Semitic tongue, which means that God is exceedingly honorable, and so is his image.

God has placed this honorable image into our lives. This image, according to Calvin, refers to the invisible attributes of God, including Morality (Sacred Love), Divinity (Justice), Creativity, Spirituality. Karl Barth took it one step further and postulated that this image points to these corresponding relationships, that is, the Triune God is also a Relational God. He has also put in place these relationships in Mankind, thereby enabling a beautiful connection amongst Man, God and the creation around us. As a result, we are able to let the glory of God shine through these harmonious relationships, which clearly set us apart from other animals. This is what the honour of Man is all about.

You and I are people with honor. You and I are different from each other. And God has elevated us to be above everything else, so that we manage ourselves well, take care of this land (without exploiting it, of course), co-exist with it well, because Mankind represents the apex of His Creation.

We are exceedingly thankful to God. You and I should not look down on ourselves, because you have the image of God. This core will never change. You will have the image of God forever, and will be honorable forever. Even if you are penniless, or have done nothing at all, you are just as honorable. As such, you and I must learn to accept ourselves as we are. Amen.

Let us pray

Dear Heavenly Father,

We are most thankful to You, because You have saved us in Jesus Christ. In the beginning, you have created us, male and female, in your own image, but we have ruined Your image because of our sins. Today, you have restored this glorious image within us in Christ; we can hold high the glory of God as a result. O, Lord, show us how to respect ourselves, take care of ourselves, and be worthy of ourselves. Help us to accept ourselves, not to think poorly of ourselves nor give up on ourselves. Remove the inferiority complex in us, that we may lead a life that is steadfast, joyful and relaxed, not compare ourselves with others, nor try to ape them or follow their way of life. Instead, we want to lead a life that shows all Your beauty and kindness, so that we may glorify You in the days to come. We pray in the blessed name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Recommendations by Rev. Dr Caleb SOO Lee Chong

The three books “The Gospel for the Modern Man”, “Faith of the Modern Believer” and “Values for the Modern Disciple” by Rev. Dr Caleb SOO Lee Chong are worthy books to edify disciples. In order to minimize differences in the qualities amongst Christians, our churches need to set up basic courses to address these issues. In turn, this will enable all disciples to incorporate their faith into their lives and allow changes to take place through renewal of minds. May God make use of these basic courses to edify more disciples to strengthen His soldiers and claim victory on His battle-ground!

The three books “The Gospel for the Modern Man”,“Faith of the Modern Believer” and “Values for the Modern Disciple” are suitable course materials for anyone who wish to acquire understanding of the Christian faith in a more comprehensive manner. The contents are easy to grasp and relate to the real world that we are living in. They are written with an eye for the man-in-the-street and explore how to make our faith come alive in our daily social interactions.

In particular, these are suitable if you  

1. are someone who wants to understand the Christian faith or,

2. are someone who has just accepted the Christian faith or,

3. have been a Christian for many years but still hungering for a firmer grounding in the faith or,

4. are a pastor or co-worker who plans to use these materials for teaching purposes.

If you need to take up learning or use these materials in a systematic manner, please us contact at this email address: [email protected]