Welcome to 'The World Needs A Father’. And even as we come together and we look at this topic of ‘A Father Affirms Potential’. I pray that we will be blessed.

We need to always be ready to affirm and bless in these five areas. So we want to create culture. We want to not follow the patterns of the world. So we need to make time, choose time to do these things on a daily basis. Yes, even making it a ritual. And in the beginning, it may feel like a ritual.

But before I go through this, I was just reading some time ago about this man who was cheated by his girlfriend. And they were all ready to get married, and then she left him for his best friend. And he was devastated. And he could not forgive both of them because his whole life was revolved around his girlfriend who became his fiancée, they’re planning to get married. And every day, there was this resentment, this hatred, this bitterness that was in his heart. He just didn't know how to forgive, he couldn't forgive, he didn't want to forgive. One day he was inspired by a message and he decided to, in those days that you needed, and still do, a password for your handphone. So he decided to make his password, ‘I forgive you’. And he needed to spell it out there. ‘I forgive you’ was his password. And every day, many times a day, as he is using his phone, he would have to type ‘I forgive you’. Over time, this became a belief in him, that even without him knowing, he did not have that resentment, that hatred, that bitterness towards his girlfriend or fiancé and his best friend. When we repeatedly remind ourselves what we need to do, it affirms us and help us overcome these challenges in our lives.

And for us, what are the areas that we can affirm others? Firstly, emotional affirmation. This will impact feelings of being loved. Telling them how beautiful they are and how happy, you are with them, and that they bring joy to you. And so all of us need to be affirmed in our emotions, because that's when for many of us, we think – not many of us will use our brains to think, but we think with our hearts more than with our brains.

And then, we also need to affirm them socially. That will create friendly kids, good listeners, good self-expression, qualities in them, and compassion. We need to model to them. And when we see them doing something good, when they are helping their siblings, when they are doing – praise them. Tell them what a good kid they are and how they are listening to people, how they are attentive to the needs of others. You know, help them to become friendly children.

And then we also need to physically affirm them, create a child with good physical self-image. All of us were made differently. Some are more athletic than others, others are a little more gentle. Whatever they are good at doing, affirm them. And tell them that each one of us are uniquely different. We don't have to be sporty like somebody else, or we need to be able to accomplish certain goals that others have done, that we may not be able to do. For each one of us are significant in our own ways. So affirm them in their own physical manners.

And also intellectual affirmation. The child should feel smart, creative, beautiful, good at reading, good at learning fast. And how we spur them on, is that whenever they do something good, praise them, so that he says, wow this is really good, I never thought of this before! And give them the opportunity to even suggest things that may not be the best. But that's thinking outside the box. It may not exactly be something that we will be able to use right now, but it is good thinking, right? And encourage them to explore, to try out. Someone told me before when I was young, he says, I rather you try and fail than fail to try. And so that gave me a lot of confidence to try and explore and to see new things and to be more creative.

Then we also need to affirm them spiritually, make this child, make you child feel full of love, that they are unique, that they're perfect in the way. God did not make a mistake when God made them. That they can become forgiving, thankful, grateful for all the things that God is given to them. So these are some of the ways in which we can affirm our children.

Ken Blanchard, The One Minute Manager, gave us some very helpful tips in being able to affirm others. He says, praise people immediately. Don't think one day I will say it. When you see and you have the opportunity, immediately praise, praise them for what you see them doing. Don't wait for another day, when you put it off to some other time, you will more likely forget it that not. And when you see, make sure that you are specifically praising them for something that you noticed about them. So praise specifically, don't just generalize saying, oh you are good, oh you are nice. Nice why? Because of what you have seen them do. Be genuine and be sincere. Don't just say it because you want to say that, or you don't know what else to do but to praise them. But what are you praising them for?

Say how good you feel about what they did right. How it helps you and personalize it. So that they can see that their contribution to your happiness or to your illness by doing what they do. And when they are affirmed in that way, they want to do more of that. And so you want to help them to do better at what they're doing all the time. I was just thinking about a lesson that I learned many years ago, called ‘whale done’. They were training whales, killer whales in Orlando. And they praise them. Whenever they were doing something good, they will feed them fish and then give them affirmation. And if they did something wrong. Nothing. There's no reprimand, nothing. But when they do something good again, they reinforce it with a reward. So how the train the whales is always affirming them when they do the right thing. When they do the wrong ting, they just pretend or ignore it. But again, when they are doing what is right, they reinforce it. And that's why affirmation is a much better educator than correction. And then you need to also pause and let them feel how good you feel. Let them take it all in and say, wow this is really wonderful, I am able to contribute to someone's well-being and someone's happiness. I'm being praised for being able to give them joy.

And then fifthly we need to encourage them to do more of the same. Just say, yeah well done, keep it up, do more of what you're doing! And then if possible, shake hands, touch them sincerely and do it appropriately. These days with COVID, we just gotta be careful. But the thing is this, we want to be able to affirm them physically as well. The human touch is so important these days.

And so what can we do intentionally to speak words of affirmation to our children starting today? I hope that this little talk on affirmation will spur us on to try to look out for opportunities where we can encourage, where we can build up, we can spur each other on to do good works. And especially for our children who are struggling with life, and in this COVID season. They are being pressured by many areas, education, social, relational and emotional. And we need to just be able to come alongside them and help them. So let's be intentional. Let's ask ourselves, please God, help me be sensitive to the people around me, not just my children, but other children as well, and the people that we can help to improve and help them grow. So let's be intentional in affirming the people around us. Thank you, and God bless.