Session 3

#    PRINCIPLE 1     LET THE PAST GO

We live in an imperfect world. Many times, things happen to us we do not understand. It is a truism to say that "Life may not always be fair." Bad things do happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. People will disappoint you, betray you, judge you, maligned against you wrongly. That is part and parcel of life you must accept. You need to get used to it. "As the rose-tree is composed of the sweetest flowers and the sharpest thorns, as the heavens are sometimes overcast -- alternately tempestuous and serene -- so is the life of man intermingled with hopes and fears, with joys and sorrows, with pleasure and pain " (Edmond Burke). One of the best ways to cope with unexpected things in life is remember this quote "Life is not a riddle to be solved but a mystery to be lived."

As human beings you do get hurt no matter how strong your character is.  Being human,  you  have a tendency to dwell in the past - especially bad and hurting experiences. Memories of betrayal, unrequited love, rejection have a tendency to linger longer. Bad and bitter experiences affect everyone. Your past can make you better or bitter.  Sadly, sometimes, you might be unaware that  your past like an anchor holds you down, hinders you from moving forward affects your pursuit of happiness. Only by disconnecting with your past can you connect to the present and future.

How can you remove the shackles that chain you? How we can you let go of the painful past? How can you be freed from the past  and create a happier future? The first principle is to let the past go (your grudges, bitterness, resentment because they eat you up and affect your attitude) by forgiving others  who have hurt you - socially, emotionally and spiritually. It includes  yourself if you are the perpetrator. It is not easy but not impossible. When injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive. Why should you forgive those who hurt you (and yourself if need be) ? Let me give you some compelling reasons:

1) Unforgiveness affects your pursuit of happiness. By forgiving them you release your grudges, bitterness, resentment and those hurtful feelings so that they no longer have any hold on you. "You can't reach for anything now if your hands are full of yesterday's junk ( Louise Smith)

2) Forgiveness is not something  you do for others. You do it for yourself to help you move on in life. "He who cannot forgive others break the bridge which he must cross" (Confucius).

3) Without adopting an attitude of forgiveness you will never be able to experience true happiness. Why? Because "happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves"  says Helen Keller.

4) Forgiving yourself is the first step to loving yourself. "There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of your past. Forgive yourself, grow from it, and then let it go" (Melanie Koulouris). 

5) Everyone makes mistakes.

6) Let go of your past to make room for the future. Don't allow the past to keep you stuck. Reliving your painful past will poison your heart and tomorrow. If you look at today through the eyes of the past  you can never see the present moment has to offer.[Poster]

7) It is the only way forward. Your journey will be lighter and easier if you do not carry the past with you. The more resentment or bitterness you cling on  to the past  and carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.  Don’t sabotage your own happiness by allowing bitterness and resentment to take root in your life and hinder your emotional and spiritual  growth. You life is like a story book. It has been said three endings: revenge, tragedy or forgiveness. Forgiveness opens another chapter in the book, restored relationship. Life it too short to be too little. Forgiveness is a choice. No one can force you not even God if you believe in a supreme being. 

Forgiveness is not an emotion. It is an action and a choice. Let go of the past go that you can move on. Make a commitment or a conscious choice to let the past go. If you don't things won't happen. Making the decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go. Stop reliving the past pain, or  going over the details of the past.

You will begin to heal when you let go of past hurts, forgive those who have wronged you and learn to forgive yourself. The future awaits you! You can't change what has already happened so don't waste your time thinking about it. Move on. Let go and get over it. Just because the past didn't turn out like you wanted to, doesn't mean your future can't be better than you imagined. Future belongs to those who believe in their dreams. Simply forget the past, look straight ahead and forge toward the future.

Do You Know...? (Words Of Ancient Wisdom)

Every Story has an End, but in Life every End is just a new Beginning. Have you ever thought why windshields are bigger than rear view mirrors? It is because the view Ahead is more important than the view Behind. In life the Promise of the Future is always than the Pain in the Past. Let go of the past and the past will let go of you. If you are brave to let go of your past and face your future, you are free to live your present. Your past tells you where you have been but it does not dictate where you are going. Move on! Don't let it hold you back. When you past calls you let it go to voicemail. It's got nothing new to say. Forgiveness does not change the past but it enlarges the future.

Concrete Action Plan

1) Write out the names of those who have hurt or betrayed you or you are bitter against on a piece of paper. When you have finished, tear it up into smaller pieces and throw them away into the rubbish bin (better still burn it). Tell yourself, "I will no longer allow my past to define me, let it chain me or hold me back form fulfilling my potential. As of this moment  I am free. " Let it be a closure for you and move on.

2) If you are  a believer, do the same except that you call upon the Holy Spirit to help you claim God's promise(s)  and put into practice. For example one of the promises could be, "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 ; NLT). Or,  "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us "( Romans 8:37; NIV).

Summary: Principle 1 Let go of the past by learning to forgive others (and yourself if necessary).