What should we do if we are bullied at the workplace?

First of all, we shouldn’t handle it alone. In our Christian journey, ‘no man is an island’. We are all members of the body of Christ, so we must support one another in times of difficulty. Therefore, I suggest that you share your predicaments with your Pastors, brothers and sisters in the church, and small groups immediately. They will lend their listening ears and provide you with comforting and encouraging words. Being the third party, they will give you suggestions and help you perceive if you have overreacted or not. You can also ask them, “What would you do in such situations?”

When you share it with friends, please don’t criticise, complain or pour out your sorrows as that doesn’t help. A more effective way of mutual support is to attempt to understand the situation through our prayers and sharing. Analyse the reasons behind this situation.

Now, you know that you can’t solve the issue alone, so let’s take some actions together.

The first step is to look at the company policies and understand your rights.  The rights and benefits of the staff are clearly stated. Once we understand them, we need to know how to lodge a complaint and protect ourselves so that we aren’t victims of workplace bullying.

The second step is to gather evidence, including emails, the time of incidents and witnesses once we discover that there is a pattern of workplace bullying.

The third step is to communicate directly with the other party.

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A workplace expert suggests that we need to stick to the principle of ‘pointing out workplace bullying’ immediately. If you sense that the other party has violated you with his words or actions, you need to take a stand immediately. The other party has to know that you wouldn’t tolerate such behaviour.

However, we should try to resolve the conflict in this way rather than venting our frustrations. Our immediate response may result in reckless behaviour because of our anger and agitation. This will not solve the issue. Instead, it adds fuel to the fire. Thus, we suggest that if you realise your emotions are affected, you should leave the place in order to avoid an emotional confrontation. Calm down and pray before returning to talk to him.

How should we talk about it? We start with the principle of being specific and honest in our discussion: Manager, I hope to work with you and finish my job well. However, from what happened on that day, you didn’t seem to like my work performance. I need to talk with you.

The ideal situation is that the other party didn’t realise that their behaviour was negative. Once you have pointed it out, he is willing to find out the underlying reason. Once the reason is found out, it is easier for him to make appropriate changes to his behaviour. However, it is difficult for a person to change instantly. If such a situation occurs again, such as treating you in a rough way, you can directly remind him of the mutually acceptable behaviour at the workplace.

After several times of discussion and reminders, we will take the fourth step if there is still no improvement in the situation. We need to be more direct in making a stand.  This is the final step for communication so that the other party can see your determination in resolving the conflict. For example, you can say: “I have tried very hard to see some positive changes in our working relationship, but regret to say that there isn’t any. I cherish this job opportunity. Could you tell me which areas I haven’t done well in? For the good of everyone, I hope to make some changes after I understand the situation better.”

If personal communication doesn’t work, we need to consider getting help from the senior management or the Human Resource Department. It is best to lodge a complaint to someone who has authority over the bully and is able to speak up for you. In doing so, our goal is to stop workplace bullying and straighten out the work relationship rather than ‘telling tales’, taking revenge, or even removing those with different opinions. When we complain, we should focus on facts such as what the other party has done, what are the effects of his bullying, and the harm and damage that are done. We shouldn’t be emotional. Let your supervisor see that you seek to establish a healthy workplace culture for everyone to work together and finish the job.

Up to now, we are trying to resolve the issue within the company or organisation. If the issue is serious, you may need to seek protection through legal means.

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In June 2018, there was a case in Los Angeles, America. The 58-year-old plaintiff, Codie Rael, won the case and received US$31million dollars in compensation from her previous employer. When she was working at a dental clinic, her employer abused her with words and humiliated her repeatedly, saying, “You are obsolete”, “We want younger staff”, “You are a stupid woman”, and other words. The objective was to force her to resign.

After the jury evaluated the case, they ruled that Codie experienced age discrimination and was a victim of unlawful dismissal and revenge. They thought that her previous employer’s behaviour was malicious, oppressive, and fraudulent, so compensation was required.

A lot of people were drooling with envy when they read this news, saying: Even if a person slogs it out, he may not get US$31million dollars in his lifetime! However, the true value of Codie’s victory is in sending out a warning to those who think that workplace bullying is a trivial issue. It reminds them that they need to be careful and exercise self-control in the words that they say.

After some hard work, the most ideal situation is that the other party realises his wrongdoing through communication and turns over a new leaf. Or the supervisor enforces the laws impartially and eradicates such evil behaviour at the workplace so that you can work happily. Sadly, this is not always the case.

In the previous episode, survey results revealed that many organisations do not take action to deal with workplace bullying. Furthermore, we learn through life that there are some unresolved difficult issues temporarily in life. Even after we have prayed hard and done our utmost, we discover that the situation still won’t turn around. The other party wishes to take advantage of you and the authority is indifferent to your distress. Just as it is written in Ecclesiastes 3:16 in the Bible: Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice, even there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness, even there was wickedness. 

At this point in time, we do whatever we can and commit the results to God, believing that He is righteous and will vindicate us. Don’t be dragged down by the difficulties. On contrary, we need to actively plan our daily schedule, entrust our hurts to God and ask Him to heal us.

The most important step is forgiveness. We need to learn how to forgive those who have bullied us. We must also forgive ourselves for not doing enough in the process. When Jesus Christ was on the cross, He said, “Father! Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” Dear friends, those workplace bullies do not know what they are doing!

Psychological research reports that aggressive people are usually fragile within themselves. They use exaggerated words and actions to conceal the weakness and inferiority inside them. They are coarse in their behaviour so as to maintain a mighty front externally and protect their inner vulnerability. Let us learn to bless those who are offensive towards us and have mercy on their inner weakness. We should pray for them and ask God to heal their hearts. In doing so, we will also receive healing.

In the process, some relationships will be mended and rebuilt, but others will be put on pause temporarily. We should not get too entangled with them. There is a time for every season. We cannot please everyone and there isn’t a need to do so. The most crucial thing is to hold fast to our righteousness before God so that others can see the grace and love of Jesus reigning in our lives. This is sufficient.

Dear friends, many people at the workplace are known as ‘corporate slaves’ in Japan. This word comprises of the words ‘company’ and ‘animal’. Thus, it means ‘corporate slaves’. People use this word to tease themselves or mock others. They say that they are low working class people who have given up their dignity and resigned themselves to be oppressed like animals in the company in order to keep their jobs.

It is heart wrenching to see this word. Each of us has the image of God and possesses a life that is worthy, and dignified, so no one should be treated like an ‘animal’! May the Lord protect our hearts, especially those of us who have authority in varying measures. Let us examine ourselves: Have we been bullies intentionally or unconsciously? Today, we need to learn how to manage our emotions well and be cautious of our words and deeds, regardless of which level of management we are in. We must be sensitive to our staff at the workplace and lend them a helping hand when they face issues.

The survey results of the Workplace Bullying Institute showed that the employers were the cause of most workplace bullying cases. More than 70% of them were inclined to deny, reduce, encourage, cover up workplace bullying, or defend the victimizers. The most effective way to eradicate workplace bullying is the top-down approach of establishing friendliness at the same level, and fostering a workplace culture of mutual love. We can also put an end to workplace bullying in the system. Christian entrepreneurs and managers play important roles in this area.

Dear friends, the discussion on ‘Workplace bullying’ has come to an end here. May we be ‘wise as serpents and innocent as doves’ and be Christians with love, wisdom and courage in the workplace.

I invite you to tune again to our next episode of Workplace Strategy!

Michele Woodward < Six Steps to Combat Workplace Bullying >

Critical Thinking Questions:

1. What should we do if we are bullied at the workplace?

2. If we are bullied at workplace, we need to communicate with the third party. How should we talk about it?

3. The most import step facing workplace bullying is forgiveness. What do you think you should do so that you could in order to forgive those who didn’t know what they were doing?

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