Today, we will continue to discuss on “Relationship with oneself”.

Last week, we had mentioned that man is created in the image of God. Such a creation is worthy so we have to respect ourselves. In the same way, man is a humble creation as he is formed from the dust of the ground so we must humble ourselves. Knowing such a human nature, human beings should start to respect and accept themselves, and establish their self-love and self-esteem. Today, we will continue to explore how to build a relationship based on self-love and self-esteem.

First of all, we have to establish a good relationship with God. I need to constantly adjust my direction in life so that I can return to God. Remember, God does not do the adjustment. I need to make the changes and move towards His direction in order to seek Him because God is perfect. The further I drift away from the light, the more I will have darkness in my life. I cannot know and accept myself in the midst of darkness. Thus, I will sin. The more I sin, the more I look at myself with contempt and cannot escape from the grip of sin. On the contrary, when I face the light, I return to God and establish a good relationship with Him. The Bible tells us that God is light and He is holy. When He accepts me, I live in His light and this is good. Light brings warmth and points to the right direction in life. God loves us so let us love ourselves with His love; God respects us so let us respect ourselves with the respect that He has given us. This is a very important basic step. Remember, we must return to God and find our right position in life.

Besides establishing a good relationship with God, we also need to develop our spiritual gifts and talents. We often encourage our children to study well, not because they can earn more money with studies. Definitely not. Studying is an essential way to build our confidence. You can imagine me graduating from the university with a group of friends and I have never actually studied well or talked to them for more than three sentences. As a result, I will feel inferior to them and do not dare to talk to others. Another instance is when I do not know the language of the foreigners but others can communicate with them in English so I will naturally feel inferior. This is a natural reaction. Therefore, studying is the simplest method of building confidence in us. The more we study, the more we grasp the skills, not only survival skills but also life skills, communication skills and skills to develop ourselves. When we possess such skills, we can serve others and work effectively. When we develop our talents and abilities and use our knowledge, we have a sense of achievement and therefore, we will respect ourselves. We will also feel that we are worthy and inadvertently, it is easier to accept ourselves.

The Bible tells us that God distributes the spiritual gifts to every one of us according to His will. The Chinese say that: everybody has something good that he is born with. Every one of us is endowed with the talents and spiritual gifts from heaven. Once we use our spiritual gifts in the right way, we will be talented. Please don’t say that you are unimportant and useless. Don’t look down on yourself! Even when rubbish is put to use in the right place, it becomes fertilizer. For example, if the leader of the nation is out of the country for two weeks, our country will still be peaceful. On the contrary, if the cleaner does not clear the rubbish for two weeks, you will wonder what has happened? I am afraid that we cannot continue to live on. Therefore, is the cleaner important? Of course. However, is the cleaner more important than the leader of the nation? Of course not. Let us put it in this way – all of us have to play our part so every one of us is important. All we have to do is to put our spiritual gifts and talents to use in the right place and develop them. This is important so that we can meet the needs of other people. A good father will fulfil his responsibilities. The children also have to fulfil their responsibilities of being filial to their parents. Then, they will be good children. It is the same for the church, the society and the nation. Thus, we have to develop our God-given spiritual gifts and talents well. By doing so, we will be of importance and are worthy.

Thirdly, our thinking habits play a very important role in building our self-love and self-esteem. For example, when we see ourselves in the negative way, the more we look down on ourselves, the more inferior we are, the more we look at ourselves with contempt. As a result, we cannot accept ourselves. There is a saying that: our perception shapes who we are. Having negative thoughts, you will reduce yourself to nothing and I am afraid, you will also achieve nothing in the end. Interestingly, when you want to purchase a new car, you will discover that all the cars that you see on the road seem to be that new car. Recently, you wish to conceive and you would find a lot of pregnant women around. When you are short of money and wish to take a loan, you will discover a lot of such advertisements in the newspapers, television, internet and even the mail box. You will also read about news of suicide in the newspapers and soon, there are even more of such news. News of arson will result in more news of arson; news of kidnapping will result in more news of kidnapping. Whatever you think of will take place. Thus, when I think about myself in a negative way - I am a good for nothing, I am afraid this is the start of the self-destructive process. If we cannot accept ourselves, it will result in lots of hurts and misfortunes. Why is this so? It is very simple – the more we contemplate about it, the more we focus on that matter! Therefore, when you think about failures, you will eventually fail in the end.

In the past, safety nets were not used for cable walking circus performance at high altitude. Lan Da was a very renowned cable walking circus performer with exciting stunts, which were popular for a period of time. One day, one of his family members, who was also a cable walking performer, fell to his death. From then on, Lan Da’s heart was filled with trepidation. Even though Lan Da thought that his skills were superb, he would also end in tragedy like this family member if he made any mistakes. Not long after that, he fell to his death in the circus performance. When Lan Da’s wife was interviewed, she replied: “A few months before it, he kept thinking if he would also fall. This was the first time he had such a thought. I felt that all his thoughts dwelt on whether he would fall rather than on the cable walking performance itself. As a result, this mishap happened. He fell just like what he had believed it to be.” Therefore, the outcome will be what we perceive it to be. If you keep on thinking that you are not well, I am afraid you will start to find fault with yourself. Even if you have no illnesses, you will eventually end up sick like what you perceive it to be. From today, we need to have positive, active thinking, that is, to let the promises in the Bible form the basis of our thoughts – we are loved by God, we are honorable and we have the image of God. I am a useful person and will be who I am. From here, we establish our thoughts which will form our character. As time passes by, we will have a habit of accepting ourselves. May the Lord help you to think positively.

Fourthly, build oneself up by making friends with others. There is a saying for the school of success: if you wish to fail, be with those people who fail; if you want to succeed, find a successful person and learn from him how to succeed in life. There is a logic in such a statement. Today, if I make friends with negative and pessimistic people, I will soon also become negative and pessimistic. If my friends are filthy, I will soon also become filthy. On the contrary, if they have integrity, I will also be righteous with no craftiness. If they are positive and optimistic, I will also be positive like them. Remember to make friends with godly, positive and optimistic people.

It is extremely important that we have fellowship in the church. “Fellowship” refers to a group of people coming together for Bible study, prayer, sharing and encouragement. We encourage one another with the Word of God and help one another to rely on God. Whenever one of us is optimistic and knows how to support another person, such fellowship is of great help and will bring blessing to others.

Some time ago, a woman jumped off the building because she had contracted cervical cancer. Not only that, she also pushed her two children down the building and perished together with them. Why was this so? It could be that she found it painful to continue living with cervical cancer. Then, she could have thought further. If she had left behind two children, her husband would re-marry and the stepmother would abuse them so she thought of taking the two lives together with her. This was a very negative, pessimistic thinking mode which ended in a tragedy. On the contrary, if she had participated in the church fellowship, a group of brothers and sisters would support her, talk to her and encourage her, asking, “Why are you depressed?” She would say,” I have cervical cancer.” “Which stage is it?” Her reply, “The second stage.” “Let me tell you there is a sister who is in her third stage of cancer and she is still living now. We would invite this sister to encourage you to continue living bravely.”

Let us pray together!

Dear Heavenly Father, we are thankful to you for helping us with your Word. Let us build a harmonious relationship with ourselves. May we learn to love, accept and respect ourselves with your love because you first loved us and has given your only Son to us. By doing so, we will fulfil our roles effectively in the world and bring glory to your holy name. Lord, help us to survive under any circumstances and bless others. Indeed, our lives are meaningful and worthy. This is our hope in you. In the holy name of Jesus Christ, we pray, Amen.

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