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Hello friends! Last week we heard the story of Helen and Patrick about their transition from an unequal yoke marriage to becoming a Christian couple. It took 15 years before God opened the door and blessed their whole family. The process was relatively smooth-sailing without much urgency, and both of them enjoyed the whole transition.
But sometimes the situation can be totally different. We may truly be eager and anxious about the salvation of our beloved one. This would be especially challenging for us compared to Helen and Patrick’s case. Do you have the same feeling when you share the gospel to someone you care and pray for his or her salvation? Let’s go through the story of another Christian, Heidi.
In our second story, Heidi considered herself “a young Christian” when she decided to marry Edward. She said, “He had such a considerate and good character even though he was not a believer. Moreover, we were seeing each other for a few years before I became a Christian.”
Heidi recalled that back then, she had not attended any church wedding, so it made little difference that she did not have one. But Heidi felt that she needed God’s blessing, so she prayed, just between God and her. Some years later, she imagined that one day she would walk down the aisle in her wedding gown with Edward. When Heidi told Edward about her imagination, he joked that their grandchildren could be the page boys and flower girls. Edward did not think it would happen soon, if it ever happened.
Unlike Helen and Patrick, Heidi and Edward faced issues in their marriage. Heidi shared, “After our first son was born, Edward assured me that he would keep his word which he had promised me, as well as my pastor, that he would not stop me or our son from going to church.” Heidi clung onto God’s Word that through believing members of the family, He could sanctify the whole family as recorded in 1 Corinthians 7:14 (NIV), “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”
It seems Edward did his best to respect Heidi’s beliefs with no opposition to church activities for their next generation. However, life was not smooth-sailing. As Heidi shared, “despite this we faced several issues. We had many arguments over the baptism of our children. We could not agree on sending the children to Christian schools. I was upset when he went to temples and prayed to idols. He was upset whenever I mentioned the name ‘Jesus’ or ‘Christ’. We would go into cold wars for days. At one point, I wanted to call it quits.”
That was pure torture for a Christian to be torn into two parts between personal belief and family. As a family member, we want to build a relaxing and happy environment for our spouse and children, but at the same time, we feel the need to defend our Christian faith when it is being attacked. When the words of disagreement come from our beloved family, it feels even worse.
Dear friends, imagine if you were in Heidi’s situation, what would you do? Would you going to continue sharing the gospel at home or just keep God and church activities to yourself?
Fortunately, Heidi didn’t give up even when she was struggling.
Pastor David asked Heidi how she prayed for Edward. She said, “At first, I could not pray for him as he was going to the temple and I saw little hope. Then I read ‘The Power of a Praying Wife’ by Stormie Omartian. I was convicted that my attitude had to be right - since Edward could not pray with me, as a Christian couple could, I ought to pray for him. I became fervent in my prayer after my baptism in 1993. When we quarreled, I would pray for God’s forgiveness for me and for him. The children also prayed with me. Once I had such severe neck pain I could not sleep. Through the prayers of me and our children, my neck was healed. I trusted God to help Edward see God working in our lives.”
Heidi appreciated God’s work towards her family, “I thank the Lord for answering my prayers. Edward agreed to join our Care Group meetings and outings, as well as Christmas and Maundy Thursday services which he attended without fail every year. He also stopped going to the temple. All these happened after many years of prayer with some ladies from the church supporting and praying with me. I should add that God blessed me with a church within walking distance from our home.”
In 2009, Edward was diagnosed with leukaemia. Though the whole church rallied behind him and his family, and visited him in the hospital and at home, he warned his wife not to pressure him to be a Christian. One day, he agreed to pray with the pastor to believe in Jesus, saying he was doing this “for Heidi”.
She was of course disappointed. “I told Pastor that was not what I expected. Why should he do it for me? But Pastor said it was okay - he did it out of love for you, and we should leave the matter to God. But later as I joined Edward and those from my Care Group in rejoicing in his salvation, he told me that he had been waiting for someone to lead him to Christ. I was overjoyed.”
The genuineness of Edward’s conversion was seen in the following months as he underwent chemotherapy, cell transplant and all the discomfort and pain. The following year he asked to be baptised. Heidi testified, “He never blamed God but continued to thank God for every day. He was smiling to his last breath as he followed Jesus to the end. It was a grand send-off, with the ICU room filled with singing and praises to God that day.”
As a footnote, Heidi shared about the salvation of her mother-in-law. Some 20 years before, Edward had challenged her, “If you can convince my mother to go to church, I will follow suit.” She was wheelchair-bound due to a spinal problem which affected both her ears. After her discharge from hospital, she was placed in St Luke’s Eldercare.
This is another story took up by Heidi. “Edward was already sick, and it was so hard for me to take care of his mother. I was holding a full-time job. One day my brother-in-law visited my mother in-law and she asked about becoming a Christian. Immediately, one of our pastors who spoke Teochew arranged to see her with his wife. God opened my mother-in-law’s ears so that she could hear the gospel and pray the sinner’s prayer. After that, she became deaf again.”
What a wonderful and amazing experience for Heidi’s family!
Two remarkable stories but anecdotal at best. Nevertheless, they underline the support from the community of God’s people. In each case, fellow believers rallied around the Christian partner who could not have done it alone.
In one case, the turning point was when the Christian returned to the Lord and to the church. In the other, it was when the Christian persevered in prayer, undergirded by prayers of those from the church. How can the church help those who have chosen the unequal yoke? True, they have violated God’s command and the church’s policy, but as we have seen, not all such marriages need to follow the rule of water finding the lowest level.
My dear friends, did the two stories touch you heart? As Christians we know God has His plan for each person’s salvation. Yes, the journey for an unequal yoke couple to follow the Lord and becoming Christians may be narrow and twisted. But as one family in Christ, we can do our part to help. We don’t decide or judge but stand aside to pray and support.
Through the testimony of the two Christian sisters, we see God’s mercy and power to both families. They are no longer unequal yoke but joint together in Jesus Christ. But what if the non-Christian spouse does not show any signs of acceptance for Jesus or church at all? How should we deal with such a marriage without any change, shall we turn away from it or accept it without more trying? Do listen to our next episode on coming Thursday. Stay tune and goodbye!