Hello friends! Last week we discussed about educating the next generation, from choosing a school to going to church. It is obvious that the whole family should be involved in this process. However, that may create tensions for unequally yoked couples.

Today we are going to talk a bit more about this issue, let’s start with the most essential principles!

As Christians, we can always refer to the Bible for help for all kinds of problems such as how to educate our children with Christian principles. In the Ten Commandments, the first four have to do with our relationship with God. The fifth, as recorded in Exodus 20:12 addresses our relationship with one another: “Honour your father and your mother…”. We often see this commandment as one extolling filial piety and ensuring order in the family and home. That is true. But taking a look at its original context, it was given to the people of Israel to fulfill another equally important purpose— to ensure the continuity of the faith. Read the promise attached to the commandment: “… that your days may be long in the land the LORD your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). Such is God’s promise for the children who honour their parents.

This promise is similar to the one given in Deuteronomy 11: 8-9, “You shall therefore keep the whole commandment that I command you today, that you may be strong, and go in and take possession of the land that you are going in to possess, and that you may live long in the land the LORD swore to your fathers to give to them and to their offspring, a land flowing with milk and honey.”

This was God’s instructions to the Israelites relating to building a family and educating their children. The adult Israelites are to honour their God and their children are to honour them, the parents. For the children, to honour their parents would also be to honour their parents’ God. In this way, the faith in God is passed on from parents to children, from one generation to the next. Nothing would be sadder than to have our faith die with us. Nothing could be more fulfilling than to have our faith passed on to our children and to those who come after us. For Pastor David, he and his wife also follow the guidance of the Bible to raise their Children.

When my wife and I were expecting our first child, I was reading through the book of Isaiah. A few days before our daughter was born, God gave us a wonderful promise in Isaiah 44: 3. “For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour my Spirit upon your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.”

As it is our desire, so it is God’s promise too, to see our children take ownership of our faith in the true and living God. Nothing is more important and fulfilling in parenting than to see each child grow to know God, love Jesus and live a life led by the Holy Spirit. To this end, someone raising children in an unequally yoked marriage may have to do so as a lonely single parent.

Now let’s try to view this issue from the other side, the typical opposite case found in the Bible. What if people who grew up in a Christian family insist to do things on their own with neither consideration of the Word of God nor their parents’ wishes? Let’s look at Esau’s story, a familiar story for some of us.

At the age 40, Esau was ready to marry. We are not told if Esau knew that his grandfather, Abraham, was insistent that his father, Isaac, marry not a Canaanite wife, but one from within the same tribe and faith. But if Esau knew about that, then that did not stop him from marrying not one but two wives from outside the faith. He took them from the Hittites, a tribe belonging to the Canaanites whose pagan practices were roundly condemned by God.

Whether he did this out of foolish impulse or to spite his parents, we do not know. We do know however that Esau “despised his birthright” as described in Genesis 25:34, and he cared more about filling his stomach now than gaining his inheritance later. Instant gratification was his weakness, which surfaced again later when his fancy for foreign women came first. He cared little about what his parents thought or desired. No wonder we read that Esau and his wives “made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah”.

For their other son, Jacob, yet unmarried, Rebekah worried for the future. What had happened with Esau drove her to such distress that she even spoke of suicide in her complaint to her husband as recorded in Genesis 27:46, “I loathe my life because of the Hittite women. If Jacob marries one of the Hittite women like these, one of the women of the land, what good will my life be to me?”

Esau must have gotten wind of this, for we are told that he decided to do something to make his parents happy. He went and married a third wife, this time from within their extended family. He took for himself someone from the line of Ishmael, the son of Abraham and the maidservant Hagar. We wonder if Esau knew he was rubbing salt into the wound - for God had set Ishmael aside in favour of his father Isaac. Thus, it seems that when we violate the words of God and decide to do as we wish, things will go wrong. As Matthew Henry comments on Esau’s after-thought:

And how did he now mend the matter? Why, truly, so as to make bad even worse. He married a daughter of Ishmael, the son of the bond-woman, who was cast out, and was not to inherit with Isaac and his seed, thus joining with a family which God had rejected, and seeking to strengthen his own pretensions by the aid of another pretender.

What a pity for Esau and the whole family! One act of foolish disobedience led to another, and out of Esau’s line would eventually arise the Edomites who would have a long history of hostility against the Israelites. The kings of Israel fought battles against the Edomites and the prophets of God pronounced doom against them. Such hostility would spill into the New Testament when King Herod, an Idumean or Edomite, tried to eliminate the Christ when he was born. So not only did Esau’s marriage outside the faith bring grief to his parents; it also brought grief to the people of Israel in the generations following.

That may be one of the most serious consequences of failing to obey the words of God and having an unequal yoke family. We can make a guess that even Esau himself would never expect his self-assertion for his marriage to cause such a tragic development in Israel history. The people got separated and fought against each other. This messed up their religion, too.

Dear friends, it is not to say that marrying a non-Christian will cause damage and dire consequences in our lives. But it is a reminder for us to think twice about the possible impact of a relationship built on unequal yoke. We can’t have a full picture of our whole life schedule as we can’t see God’s view; hence we need to be especially careful when choosing our direction during important turning life points.

The education of the next generation relates to the whole family. As Christians, parents have to ensure to teach their kids based on bible principles; while for young Christians who grew up in a family with faith in God, it is good choice to take their parents’ suggestion than to decide everything independently.

It is so important to follow the advice and commandments in the bible as a Christian. Thus, take the unequal yoke issue seriously during the growing of kids, as it may affect our whole family and even more.

We all understand the importance of avoiding an unequal yoke situation which may lead to trouble, but what if we are already involved in such a situation? What can we do to help and keep holding our connection to church and God? Please listen to our new episode this coming Thursday. Stay tuned and goodbye!

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