Hello friends! We are starting a new series called the Unequal Yoke. We will follow Pastor David as we learn more about this issue related to love and marriage. As a Christian, there are always many non-believers around us. In fact, we find that some of them have very nice personalities that we make them our friends and even decide to date or marry one of them. However, it is quite common to find differing opinion arising between such couples. Therefore, it is important for us to know some conflicts between a Christian and non-Christian. Now, let’s take a look at three typical scenarios that most Christians encounter themselves or hear of similar cases from others.

Celia has never met anyone like Ben. He’s different from the boys she knows from church. She grew up with most of them and treats them like brothers. In fact, as Christians, they call each other brothers and sisters. Ben is different. He is a gentleman, always well-dressed and well-mannered. He pays attention to her every need and is ever thoughtful and considerate. He can also talk about such a wide range of subjects, unlike the boys she knows whose interests lie mostly on church and the Bible. Best of all, Ben is romantic.

But there’s a problem. Ben is not a Christian, and Celia knows her church would not solemnize a wedding between a believer and a non-believer - neither would her church friends accept her relationship with Ben. They would wonder why, with all the boys in the church, she should go and find a non-Christian boyfriend elsewhere. Celia is torn. Should she continue her relationship with Ben?

Now we come to Andy and Sarah, who have been praying for their son, Yong. Recently, they have redoubled their prayers. Yong is in a serious relationship with Lin, a girl from a staunch Buddhist family. As a filial daughter, Lin follows the practices of her family - though according to Yong, she does it more out of compliance than conviction.

Recently, Yong and Lin announced their engagement and started to work towards their wedding. This has raised his parents’ concern another notch and brought them to their knees in prayer. Not only are they anxious about how they would negotiate with Lin’s Buddhist parents about wedding rites, they worry about Yong’s future. Would his faith be compromised by someone of another faith? How would two people of different faiths live as one and build a home together?

Finally let’s see the case of Vincent and Hannah. They have been married for almost 10 years. Two sons have been born to them. Initially, Vincent, a self-confessed agnostic, had allowed Hannah to bring their children to church with her. But as schooling became a more important part of their lives, Vincent started to complain that they are spending too much time in church. He expressed his displeasure, saying that they should be home studying, and also helping around the house.

Hannah thinks her husband should go to church with her, but they had agreed when they got married that they would respect each other’s beliefs. He had never stopped her from going to church, but he had expressed his unhappiness over her giving too much time, as well as money, to the church. They seem to get along well except when weekends come and their paths go different ways. Hannah often feels alone, much like a single mother, with no husband to stand with her in matters that mean so much to her. Did she make a mistake in marrying a non-Christian and is now living with the consequences?

Dear friends, do these stories sound familiar to you? Although things are clearly pleasant in the beginning, why do cracks gradually appear and become larger? Why do things get out of control?

Is it because of our own personal weaknesses? Are we able to be change the situation for the better with our own effort?

Actually, these three scenarios represent different perspectives of what has become known as the ‘unequal yoke’ issue. Numerous other variations exist, with their own unique problems. When two persons of unlike faiths or religious persuasions join together in a partnership for life, what are the consequences? Can such marriages work? Should we get into them in the first place? What if we are already in one?

What is unequal yoke and how should we view this problem?

We learn much from watching the nature. God created the world and has placed in it objects as lessons in life. We don’t have to look far to see how he intends for us to live.

Take for example our human bodies. Our eyelashes are the closest to our eyes, yet we cannot see them. The lesson is clear: whatever is nearest to us is often the least perceived. We are almost blind to them. “Where the river is deepest, it makes the least noise,” says an Italian proverb. Its English counterpart concurs, “Still waters run deep.” Appearance is deceptive. All around us, God plants signposts to instruct us, warn us against danger and guide us on the right paths.

One such signpost comes from farmers. Their lives, as well as about everyone else on earth, depend on their labours of ploughing the ground, watering seedlings and reaping harvests. Farmers take each task seriously and work hard to provide food for all. They work smart too as no farmer ploughs his field with two different types of animals put together. In fact, it is written as a prohibition in the Law of Moses. “You shall not plough with an ox and a donkey together” (Deuteronomy 22:10). What would happen if someone ignored this and insisted on yoking the two animals together then attempting to plough with the pair? Firstly, the animals wouldn’t get along and end up annoying each other. Secondly, they wouldn’t pull in the same direction. The plough and the farmer will end up all over the place. It would prove to be a futile activity.  

But is that the only warning for the farmers? Not so. In a different part of the Law of Moses, another warning prohibited farmers from putting a muzzle on an ox that was treading the grain (Deuteronomy 25: 4). The apostle Paul, a rabbi and expert in the Mosaic Law, tells us it was not only for farmers that God instituted this practice. In it is a principle for all of us - namely, that those who do work should not be deprived of the reward from their labour.

For it is written in the Law of Moses, ‘You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain.’ Is it for oxen that God is concerned? Does he not speak entirely for our sake?  (1 Corinthians 9: 9&10)

Likewise, the law against ploughing with an unequal yoke embodies a vital principle for living. A partnership of two persons or parties of different values and goals will not work. They won’t get along and won’t advance in the same direction. The unequal yoke has been applied to the business world as well as the ecclesiastical world. In business, a Christian who enters into partnership with a non-Christian may find a conflict of values, resulting in differences in strategies, policies, operations and the bottom line.

Ken had always wanted to be his own boss. After spending five years in the events industry, he decided to start his own company. He was already well-known for the services he provided and was confident of a large clientele. He persuaded a colleague, Frank, to join him in the venture. They had already been working together for some years, and both relished the idea of running their own business.

They launched their new enterprise with fanfare and soon had more work than they could handle. They recruited new staff, handled events and saw money flow into their company. Ken and Frank celebrated their success and felt on top of the world. All this time, Ken had told Frank about his Christian faith and his commitment to his family and his church. No matter what work had to be done on the weekends, Ken would take Sunday mornings off to be in church with his wife and children.

As the business grew, Frank felt it unfair that he had to handle all the Sunday morning engagements. Couldn’t Ken take alternate Sundays off from church? Ken tried on a few occasions, but his wife reminded him of his promise to God before he decided to make work more important in his life. He would honour God on the Sabbath since God honoured him with success in his business venture.

Of course, Frank, a free-thinker, could not appreciate such a pact. He questioned Ken’s loyalty to the company and accused him of not doing his fair share. Ken felt guilty whenever Sunday came around. Should he leave Frank on his own, or his family on their own? A partnership that began so well was showing signs of breaking up.

What a pity that two good working partners began having such disagreement, making a negative effect towards their life and work. Unequal yoke not only exists among close family members, but also in work places as well. Christian groups are also not safe from this issue. Want to know more about it? Do listen to our new episode next week. Stay tuned and goodbye!

Song 主的喜樂是我力量 The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Artist 讚美之泉 Stream of Praise

Album深觸我心 How Precious You Are to Me