Hello friends! Last week we heard how Shaun’s health continued to decline despite Jimmy’s efforts to find a miracle cure. But now it’s time for Shaun to leave. How will his heartbroken father recover and carry on with his life? Let’s hear the breakthrough journey of our protagonist, Jimmy Ong Tiam Huat.

The end was near; Jimmy and Lindy were told to prepare themselves for the worst. Shaun was now on morphine constantly, and his pain-free time was growing shorter. Even when he was not in pain, he was always tired and would simply listen to worship songs quietly. The tumour was also affecting Shaun’s speech and vision.  As his condition got worse, the doctor suggested for Jimmy to tell Shaun the truth. Hence, with a heavy heart, Jimmy broke the news to his son.

Shaun was angry and upset. “Daddy, you told me that I was going to get better after the first and second operation. You asked me to do all these things, saying that they would cure me,” he said. “Now you’re telling me that I’m going to die?” But as Shaun could not speak properly, it took a while for Jimmy to understand what he was saying. Shaun became very worked up and Jimmy had to get the doctor to explain his illness to him.

Eventually, Shaun understood and accepted his situation. They sat in silence for two hours as thousands of questions swirled in Jimmy’s head. Such as “Where will Shaun go after his death? Who will take him?” Eventually, Jimmy asked if Shaun was afraid to die.

“No, I’m not afraid,” Shaun said without hesitation. “Because when I die, I will see Jesus.” 

Shaun’s reply stunned Jimmy. How could this boy have so much confidence and acceptance of his death? Even though he did not know Jesus, Jimmy was shocked by the great Christian faith his son had showed.

Soon, Shaun became very weak. He could no longer stand on his own and had to be carried by his church buddies to the toilet. Knowing that the end was near, Shaun would even nap sitting up. That was his way of living life to the fullest, even till the end.

Two days after Jimmy told him the news, Shaun who could no longer talk properly at that point, asked Jimmy, “Daddy, what’s the da… da… date?”, he stuttered.  Jimmy whispered to him that it was the 8th of June. Shaun closed his eyes and a tear ran down his cheek. Poor boy! Shaun knew he would not be going for the church camp.

The next day, Shaun slipped into coma. All his friends from church visited him before they left for camp. On 10 June, at 12.23 pm, Shaun passed away peacefully. At around the same time, the church group messaged to say that they had arrived at the camp. Shaun died exactly seven months and seven days after his diagnosis. He was 10 years old.

Jimmy was totally unprepared for the grief that hit him. Like a tsunami of darkness, it swept him under, especially after the funeral! Jimmy remember sobbing his eyes out and literally feeling a stabbing pain in his heart.

 My mind was a blank and I kept asking myself, “What is the meaning of all this?”  My life did not make sense any more.

That day, Jimmy carried Shaun’s photo as he went back to his sister’s flat in Yishun. In a daze, he stood by the window, suicidal thoughts were raging in Jimmy’s tormented head. Suddenly, he heard a clear and gentle voice that sounded like Shaun: “Daddy, what about the three promises?” This jolted him out of his trance, and Jimmy stepped away from the window.

When Shaun was sick, there were three promises made between the father and son. The first promise was about Shaun’s concern for his father’s health; he wanted Jimmy to quit smoking. Jimmy was a smoker and smoked even more when Shaun fell sick. Outside the hospital, he would usually chain-smoke four to six cigarettes before going inside to visit Shaun. After smoking, Jimmy would brush his teeth and eat sweets to mask his nicotine breath. One day, the doctor called Jimmy to come up urgently while Jimmy was still smoking outside. In his rush, Jimmy forgot to brush his teeth and went straight to see Shaun. “Daddy, did you just smoke?” he asked. Jimmy was speechless at first, but he eventually admitted to Shaun. Then, Shaun asked Jimmy in a very gentle and wise manner, “Daddy, is smoking good for you?” Jimmy started apologising for smoking when Shaun said, “Promise me, Daddy, that you will quit smoking?” Jimmy agreed but he asked Shaun to give him some time.

The second promise had to do with Shaun’s care towards his grandparents, Jimmy’s mother and father. One day, Jimmy and Shaun was at his parents’ place. They were watching television when Jimmy’s father asked if he wanted dinner. Without looking at him, Jimmy replied with a no. “Daddy, how would you feel if I spoke to you that way? Please look at Ah Kong and Ah Ma when they talk to you!” Jimmy was stunned. Later that evening, Shaun said to Jimmy privately, “Daddy, promise me that you will love Ah Kong and Ah Ma?” Jimmy promised.

The last promise was about Jimmy’s life, Shaun wanted him to work hard. On one occasion, Jimmy suddenly had to move out from his temporary flat at short notice. When Shaun had to be discharged from the hospital, he stayed with Jimmy that weekend at a new flat. As they were lying on the floor of that two-room flat, Jimmy told Shaun, “Daddy is sorry to make you suffer by sleeping on the floor when you’re unwell.” Shaun looked at his father and said, “Daddy, promise me that you will work hard so that you can buy your own house and never be asked to move out again.” Jimmy said yes.

If my 10-year-old son could face life and death so bravely, how could I even think of killing myself? I still had a beautiful daughter and a future ahead of me!

Determined to honour Shaun’s memory, Jimmy told himself that he would fulfil his three promises to Shaun. It was Shaun who saved his life that fateful day.

However, things were easier said than done. Although Jimmy had those three things to accomplish, his heart was still aching so badly. After Shaun passed away, Jimmy had to go to his school to show his death certificate to Mrs Pryke. Jimmy then shared with her what Shaun had said, of how he was not afraid to die because he would see Jesus.

Mrs Pryke, a devout Christian, told Jimmy, “I want to let you know that God loves you and I feel that there is a purpose behind this. Just look at the numbers; Shaun passed away seven months and seven days after his diagnosis. For Christians, the number seven is very significant as it is the perfect holy number, signifying completeness.”

At that time, Jimmy was still overcome with sadness and anger. He questioned her belief. He kept saying, “How do you know? If God loves me, then why did he take away my son?”

As Jimmy mourned Shaun’s death, he started to visit churches to question God on why He took his son. He would also wait for Shaun’s favourite songs to be sung during services and wept uncontrollably whenever that happened.

Jimmy was lost in his grief for almost a year. He tried to use work as a distraction, but business trips were very challenging. He frequently used to buy presents for his children whenever he travelled. With Shaun now gone, this memory pained him a lot.

While dealing with the loss of his son, Jimmy also had to grapple with his status as a bankrupt. Being bankrupt is very demeaning on all accounts. It also caused him great inconvenience. There was once an incident where Jimmy needed to get a handphone for a partner in the company. As his co-workers were busy, he went down to the handphone shop himself.

At the shop, Jimmy queued for two hours. When it was his turn, he handed over the company letter and told the service staff that he wanted to apply for a mobile phoneline under the company’s name.

The cashier asked for his identification card and keyed in his data. However, when she found out about his bankruptcy, she refused Jimmy. Jimmy tried to explain that it was for a corporate line and even brought out the company stamp. However, she would not budge. Talk about discrimination!

At this lowest point in Jimmy’s life, Jimmy was further accused by an ex-business partner, Mr Tan. After reading a newspaper article on October 2004, Mr Tan claimed that Jimmy was in possession of several millions of dollars. However, he merely mistook Jimmy’s name to be Ong Thiam Huat, instead of Ong Tiam Huat.

To make matters worse, a previous employer also came after Jimmy. He claimed that Jimmy had an unsettled company loan he had taken in the past. However, Jimmy thought he was already ‘pardoned’ for that. As such, not only did Jimmy do a lot of research and recollection of past events, he also had to write lengthy letters to the Ministry of Law to clear his name.

With all these troubles piling up on top of his grief, Jimmy found life meaningless. As such, he took every opportunity to entertain his clients, so he could drown his sorrows and get drunk. One night in 2005, Jimmy was arrested for drunk driving. At 3am, while he was sitting in his jail and reflecting upon his life, Jimmy heard his jail sliding door open. Jimmy’s boss Mr Lau came to bail him out!

When I reached home, I thought to myself, “Enough is enough! I have only two choices—to live or to die. Since I don’t want to die, what can I do from here? I want a second chance!”

From then on, Jimmy became determined to live a better life. But how could he restart his life when he had so many problems up against him? Come and listen to their story next Thursday. Stay tuned and good bye!