Please hit "WEBCASTS"
Hello, I’m in Elaine Kung. Blessings from California, United States. We are happy to continue with Work-Life Balance series, topic number thirteen. We continue with these six ‘S’. Last time we shared some ways to build harmony at work and at home, especially at home during stressful time. We made many practical suggestions on how to build FRIENDS with each other, and how to build strength in our family, and how to HEAR each other. And really loving more, then we could coach them, discuss, and then we discipline, if needed with our children.
Then we also now have these practical tips. Seven ways to be VICTORS at work when we are working from home. So that we don't feel like we're victim or so difficult and stressful. So, what do we do? These seven ways for us to work from home and be VICTORS. Virtual commute, walks and breaks. Even though we don't drive to work, you may be working from home, you could still take a virtual commute. Every hour, every two hours, take a few minutes break, or even 15 minutes snack break or break time with your family.
And then ‘I’ is increase one-on-one and communications. When you don't see your co-workers that much, it is very important to build one-on-one relationship, not just with your boss, but also with your co-worker, with each other, or your subordinates. During stressful time, more frequent communication is a very powerful way to build more trusting relationship. ‘C’ is caring and trusted relationship with high emotional quotient, including that empathy we talked about last time. It is to feel how they feel and give a name to their feelings, their emotions. So that way they know you care, you're connecting with them in the emotional level, not just the intellectual mindset.
Then ‘T’ is the time priority on important and not urgent, quadrant 2. Remember a few sessions ago we talked about the four different quadrant that we spend our time. And the best quadrant to spend our time is the Q2, important, not urgent. And this is when we can be proactive to improve in our productivity, in our training, in our health, in our body, mind and spirit, in our relationship, and make it a priority.
So, during this working from home set boundary and know what is the priority on important, even though they may not be urgent. Always open-minded and have creative ideas to collaborate with each other and listen to each other's suggestions. ‘R’ is to resolve problems in a proactive way, so that we don't just wait and react and be surprised. We want to be proactive, even be predictive, expecting something may go wrong, so you have different alternatives, so that you could be preventive. So, we’re solving problems in a very creative way and pray for God to give us wisdom.
Finally, ‘S’ is to set boundary between your work life and your home life. Because I know how it is when you're working from home, you actually end up working much longer hours. But remember to set boundary and put it in your calenda, when to take breaks, when to spend time with your family, that you would set your mind, priority, with the family and your relationship.
So that way, we talked about this ‘Joy @ Home’ house before. As a quick reminder, we have this house with the foundation that's building on love and accepting each other unconditionally. Remember, these five ‘A’s to show appreciation, catch them do right, to accept them, to show affection and bond well with each other, through this FRIENDS that we talked about last time, and willing to apologize and definitely pray with each other.
And then inside the house, we decorate the house with GIFTS. The five languages of love. ‘G’ is the gift that people may like. ‘I’ is insightful words of affirmation, being positive. What you say is encouraging, if not, zip your mouth. So say less, and when you say some words, it should be encouraging affirmative. And ‘F’ is faithful, spending quality time. Among these five gifts, the words of affirmation and quality time, are the two most popular when I talk to all the different audiences, and then the touch and finally service. So, when we do one-on-one with our children or with each of the family members privately, get to know them, listen to them. Not to just ask how’s school, how’s college application? It's more about listening to them, hear them out, and find out what is their language of love and serve them that language of love as a gift.
And then the top of the house is the respect for each other. The privilege, meaning the home responsibilities, the chores that we do. So, that becomes the protection in our family, in the roof, including the tradition that may have some family rules or family tradition. And that way, we set clear boundary, what's right, what's wrong. So, when you have good relationship with boundary and rules in the family, that allow people to learn to obey. If we don't have good relationship, or when we have bad relationship, setting boundary would actually cause quite a bit of rebellion. So, this is the house that we're building our joy at home on and finding strength in our family. As in Psalm 1:27, “unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” So, let's pray that the Lord is the master of our household.
So, when we've managed time together as a family, especially during stressful time, these are some very quick checks that we find very helpful in our family. Remember, self-control is to do less time wasters like Q3 and Q4, those that are not important. Self-discipline is do more healthy habits, Q2, more important and urgent one. So, we're disciplined to build these family traditions, the privileges that we can serve one another. Whether it's cleaning the kitchen, or washing the dishes, or sweeping the floor. And then do it as a family, so it's a family tradition, building relationship. It's a family event. So, one event you have multiple benefits, multiple blessings, and we're doing it together. And then healthy habits is a lot about quadrant two, and just like brushing our teeth. And then rhythm, we would discuss in a future session on what rhythm means. So, that's how we want to build good family time management habit.
As an example, our children, when they were young, my son was about 4 or 5 years old with a little stool to help him get up to wash dishes. So, that's how we build relationship in our family, the privileges, because it's all about people. God is in the people business. So should we. In a family, we want to invest in people relationship. Remember the 3 ‘R’s we talked about? Relationship, role model, right? We as parents want to role model for the children, the right attitude, the right actions, the right words. Because it's more caught than taught, it's more caught than taught. So, the children are very smart in catching and watching what you do. Even though you may not like it., they still watch exactly everything you do. Then this way we build responsibility. So, relationship, role, model, and responsibility like this cartoon, family togetherness, including the privileges that we do, or fun things that we do that we talked about last time.
So, PEOPLE means patience. It’s not going to be overnight; it takes time. And we need to be patient, even if they may not clean it well. If you are giving them the job, even though it didn't come out as well as you expected, still accept it and have patience to learn, not complaining. Otherwise, you do it yourself, right? Enthusiasm that we are eager to clean the mirror, clean the toilet, clean the floor, and then we celebrate. Wow, we did this as a family project, let's have some ice cream and share the enthusiasm.
Be observant, I always say, turn on your antenna. Whether it's a spiritual antenna with the Holy Spirit reminding us, or our antenna with more observation and sensitivity to watch how each family member feels or to watch what they did right. Catch them do right and say, “I love the way you clean the mirror, so shiny, can you show me how you do that?” That would go a long way in building good relationship and being a good role model.
Persevere. So, it's not gonna be one time, not even two times, it's gonna be many times. They may fail. Then we learn to fall forward instead of falling backward. When we make mistake, it may be breaking a bowl or a dish, but we learn how to be careful, how to hold that. Instead of scolding them, we feel how they feel. “Oh, you must be nervous!” “It's broken, don't worry. We'll be careful next time and persevere and learn from the mistake so that we don't make the same mistake over and over again.” ‘L’ is to love, as we know, from 1 Corinthians 13, love never fails, with faith, hope, and love, the greatest of these is love. And finally, we can build trusting relationship. We can entrust them with responsibility. That's how they can mature and be independent. So, that's how our children grew up in our family.
They, in fact, became much better chef than I am. These are dishes are children cooked during thanksgiving last year. And of course, our very adorable and smart dog, Kitch, was there with us as well. They're now better cooks and they taste good, and they look good.
And then few years ago, when we celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary, they came from east coast and west coast to visit us in Dallas. And these are fancy dishes they have made. It looks beautiful and it tastes great as well. Even with the fancy menu saying what these dishes are. So, we're very grateful and blessed because these children learned to do these privileges ever since they grew up. So, they learned a life skill how to clean their house, and the roommate in college and at work love them a lot because they are so clean.
Then we as are parents building joy at home, you can see what the children think about you. So, our son got married a few years ago. And at the wedding, other than the vow, he also talked about how to honor the parents. And he said, “mom and dad, where do I start? You two have been the greatest influence in these first 25 years of my life on this earth. and it continues to be a privilege to be your son. And I thank God for blessing me with Christ-centered parents. Your love for God is strongly reflected in the way you both live your lives. Through your actions and examples, you've taught me to do my best and to trust in God, to do the rest. I know I had been difficult at times. Remember May 7th and my tantrum at the colosseum to name just a few? But without fail, you both have shown me grace and made me a better person. The list goes on and on. For the things I’m thankful for you in our relationship. And I know Charlene and I still have much to learn from you two in the years to come. May I continue to bless your marriage and fill your lives daily with His five ‘P’ blessings. Presence, promises, power, provisions, and pleasant surprises. Thank you, thank you, thank you for interceding on my behalf, supporting, and providing for me, and raising me with an unconditional love.”
Wow, we were so encouraged and touched by what he shared at the wedding, facing almost 200 guests. And many of the phrases that he used here are what we always said at home, the five ‘P’ blessing, do your best and God would do the rest, and privileges. And then we have these arguments growing up. We were not perfect. And we have this argument anniversary. May 7th was an example of that, and he remembered well. And then he really appreciates our prayer, and he said it 3 times. We cannot be perfect parents, but we need to be praying parents.
So, I bless your family and pray that you build strength and joy in your house. Even when you're working from home, especially when you're working from home. See you next time.
Reflections: