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Values for the Modern Disciples (35): Sharing - where Healing Begins

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  • Values for the Modern Disciples (35): Sharing - where Healing Begins
Speaker: Rev. Dr Caleb SOO Lee Chong Translator: THNG Pheng Soon Narrator:Won KIM
12 Jul 2023

Hi, Dear brothers and sisters, Shalom. I am Won KIM, voicing Pastor Caleb Soo Lee Chong.

 

Last week we discussed the subject “Casting off the trauma of the past.” Today, we will visit the Bible in the Gospel of John chapter 4 verses 1-30 and 39-42 for our discussions. These verses tell of the encounter at the well between Jesus and the Samaritan woman who was there to draw water. The gospel of Jesus Christ and the Love of God transformed the Samaritan woman during the conversation that took place.

 

The background and beliefs of the Samaritan woman and how people had been viewing her.

 

First, let us look into this Samaritan woman, her background and her view of faith in life. How do you think she appeared in the eyes of the people around her?

 

To be sure, her family background was not mentioned in the bible. But Jesus said that she had five husbands and the current one was not her husband (from John chapter 4 verse 18). From this we see her multiple emotional setbacks and the sorry moral state she had found herself in. That she had no choice but to come out under the midday sun to draw water spoke volumes about her loneliness. She had shut herself off from and to others as well. She was a “bad woman” and a social reject at that time. Fear from the scorn and humiliation from the public forced her to make her appearance at the well only when the place was deserted.

 

Thus, we can tell that her family background was most likely to be less than ideal, or perhaps even a broken one. Her character was basically closed and solitary, or even one filled with an inferiority complex. She looked down upon herself and refrained from opening up to others. Can you empathize with the suffering and loneliness weighing down her heart as you ponder over her situation? Can you feel how lonely she was? Do you know the way she felt in her heart as she saw others casting derisive glances in her direction? How do you see her? Some people saw her as a pitiful soul, no less.

 

Perhaps the hurt within the Samaritan woman had started with her family of origin. It could be that her first husband was not able to give her satisfaction (need not be in the carnal sense; it could be emotional needs too). She went for the second man, third man and so on.... That was why Jesus said to her, ".... you have had five husbands, and the man you are now living with is not your husband...." In other words, her current boyfriend is her sixth one. How she longs for our pity and kindness!

 

How did the Samaritan woman try to overcome her woes? What are the common ways to treat such a condition? Are they of any good?

 

What did she do to help herself? She had thought support from a male partner could keep her loneliness, emptiness and past angsts at bay. In truth, she failed to find a way out. Dear brothers and sisters, what do we usually use to heal our past wounds? Do we go the way of the Samaritan woman, or do we try something else? Let’s plunge deeper into this.

 

One: rationalize our past hurts. When we fail to find an answer for our own inner problems, we would inevitably come to “the only way out”, vis a vis, justify ourselves and bear with it: “Well, I had been suffering all this while because of my mistakes that came about for unknown reasons. I have accepted these past hurts....” Notice here that we have skirted around the hurt even as we tried to square up the problem.

 

Two: squeeze it out. We try to get those painful experiences out of our heads by keeping our minds occupied. However, I would be feeling all the worse each time the bad memory crops up, only to bash me up more brutally and reappear in my life again and again!  

 

A simple analogy is in order here. One day, someone bumped into me while I was taking the underground train. He apologized to me profusely as I asked him in great pain, “Why are you so reckless?” When I reached my office, I related my story to my colleagues. After I got home, I told my wife the same thing, and then to my kids all over again.  While I got just one blow, I subsequently got hit again and again -- when I saw my colleagues, my wife and then my children. In the middle of the night, I woke up, thought over it and went through the bashing yet again. How many rounds did I hurt myself altogether?

 

Did you get my point? An old wound from the past is able to surface time and again to inflict harm to your life on every occasion you mention or think about it. The only way is to stuff it under our subconsciousness, and deny any chance for it to raise its head. Still, the problem is not going away!

 

Three: Try to forget about it as best as we can. I have tried this as it seems to offer a gentler exit. This I did by burying myself inside piles of work, watching TV programmes and avoid looking back on the past as best as I could. Hopefully, I would be able to drive these hurtful burdens into the deepest recesses of my being. However, a day would come when such agony would tear itself away from my subconscious and do battle with renewed vigour!

 

I recall an occasion when a sister was heard yelling her head off as our meeting came to a close during our gospel camp. It made everyone’s hair stand on end when someone came running to me, saying, “Pastor, come, quick! It looks like an evil spirit has come upon her!” I summoned two sisters and a brother to follow me into her room to assess the situation at first hand. (Note to anyone involved in counselling work. Do not handle such situations alone, as the victim might grab you desperately as a drowning person would. He would then try to cling all over you continuously—now, that is a situation to avoid!)

 

After she had calmed down, the four of us sat down to talk to her in her room. As it turned out, no evil spirit of any sort was involved in the drama. It was caused by the harm inflicted upon her in the past. As it turned out, her eye caught sight of a brother sporting a bald head walking slowly nearby. Memories of her late husband flashed into her mind, and she lost control as the feeling came back to torment her once again.

 

Her husband had shaved himself bald after going through an operation to remove a tumour from the brain, and was walking with a slow gait thereafter, similar to what she saw on that day. During his illness, she had to look after him and two kids, while providing for the family’s needs at the same time. Such harsh times took its toll on her as she had to leave early for work to bring bread to the table for her entire family. She had to prepare breakfast early morning, and rushed home to prepare dinner after a hard day’s work. Those times were too tough for anyone to bear! At moments when she needed help most, not only did family members from both sides refuse to lend a hand, they chose to turn a blind eye and avoided them altogether! Memories of these unforgiving circumstances continued to haunt her for a long time.

 

One day, she saw her husband looking out of their flat window when she came home after work. He turned around, threw a glance at her and leapt out of the window to take his own life. She was totally stunned by the sudden turn of events.

 

She was not yet a Christian when all of that happened. The church extended its support at her request nevertheless. She accepted Christ thereafter, and became a member of the church. However, she did not pay due attention to her gaping emotional wound as the grieving continued to simmer within her.

 

It was in this context that the above episode took place at the gospel camp. When she caught sight of someone bearing a resemblance to her late husband, it pricked a raw nerve lurking amidst her subconsciousness and she lost control of herself as her emotions ran wild.

 

Dear brothers and sisters, suppression of one’s emotions does not provide for a good solution -- neither would attempting to put matters at the back of one’s mind. As for rationalization, well, that is no better than struggling to shy away from the truth!

 

Four: then there are some who choose to shift the blame to someone else, or tried to vent their inner frustrations through loud complaints and hurling abuses. Thus, if you ever come across someone hurling invectives you would understand how lonely and agonizing his condition has become! It would be like that of a cornered beast that can only snarl and howl in a display of desperate ferocity in a last-ditch effort to protect itself.

 

Those people who hurl abuses at others and treat them in a threatening manner are in fact trying to protect themselves. This is similar to those who appear to be in a pathetic condition; you can tell that from the way he moves around. Yes, he is trying to put the message on his pitiful condition across to everyone around him, as if pleading them for mercy so that they would leave him alone. The shell that he puts himself in offers him a sense of an impregnable fort. Nevertheless, the lions are still prowling around it.

 

There are those who try to deaden their nerves through the use of alcohol, drugs, acts of promiscuity, or even use work as an escape route. Sadly, that is no solution, either. It would but add on the miseries as we have seen in the Samaritan woman at the well.

 

The gospel of Christ can change everything.

 

Dear brothers and sisters, the bible provides us with an effective means to help us face such dark clouds from the past and make us whole again. See how our Lord looked straight at sin and faced the cross as He walked towards Jerusalem to take our place and die for our sins. With that move, our sufferings would be put to rest, once and for all.

 

If one resorts and continues to employ improper methods to deal with past wrongs, serious consequences may result, including explosive situations that could trigger off a major catastrophe. The unthinkable may take over as a chain reaction spirals out of control faster than anyone can handle. All too often, it takes just a dose of self-guilt, self-abasement, sense of desperation, fear, loaded accusations or a lethal mix of any of these to spark off spots of high sensitivities to unleash mayhem on the spot.

 

Today, we hear the good news declared by God, “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation…”. Yes, Jesus is able to transform us into a new creation. Indeed, He came to die for our sins, and we are healed by His wounds!

 

 

Let us pray

 

Our dear Father in Heaven, we are deeply grateful to You. Every one of us has invariably gone through sufferings, at one stage or another in our lives. Such agonies are tucked deep into the subconsciousness of each of us. O Lord, we are willing to come face-to-face with them with resolve to manage them so that they can harm us no longer, even denied a place in our lives forever.

 

We are determined to evict them, even as we pray for the refining fires to steel us for the work ahead of us. O, God, may Your Word and Love renew everything and lead us forward. Hear our prayers, O, Lord, we are willing to open our hearts to receive You, as we confess our past transgressions and our own hurts. May God pardon us and cleanse us so that we may glorify your precious Name.  In the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen!

 

 

Recommendations by Rev. Dr Caleb SOO Lee Chong

 

The three books “The Gospel for the Modern Man”, “Faith of the Modern Believer” and “Values for the Modern Disciple” by Rev. Dr Caleb SOO Lee Chong are worthy books to edify disciples. In order to minimize differences in the qualities amongst Christians, our churches need to set up basic courses to address these issues. In turn, this will enable all disciples to incorporate their faith into their lives and allow changes to take place through renewal of minds. May God make use of these basic courses to edify more disciples to strengthen His soldiers and claim victory on His battle-ground!

 

The three books “The Gospel for the Modern Man”, “Faith of the Modern Believer” and “Values for the Modern Disciple” are suitable course materials for anyone who wish to acquire understanding of the Christian faith in a more comprehensive manner. The contents are easy to grasp and relate to the real world that we are living in. They are written with an eye for the man-in-the-street and explore how to make our faith come alive in our daily social interactions.

 

In particular, these are suitable if you  

1. are someone who wants to understand the Christian faith or,

2. are someone who has just accepted the Christian faith or,

3. have been a Christian for many years but still hungering for a firmer grounding in the faith or,

4. are a pastor or co-worker who plans to use these materials for teaching purposes.

 

If you need to take up learning or use these materials in a systematic manner, please us contact at this email address.:[email protected]

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