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Episode 13
We need to understand that when grace is showered more on the ‘lost sons’ and ‘lost daughters’ by God, it is because they need it most. They need that affirmation. Ultimately, it is Grace rather than Law that changes people. Seen in that light, instead of resenting, we should rejoice; instead of being angry, we should affirm; instead of being petty, we should be big-hearted; and instead of begrudging, we should forgive. What pleases the heavenly Father should also please us. ‘How could we fail to celebrate this happy day? Your brother here was dead and has come back to life; he was lost and has been found’ (Luke 15:32).
How then should a ‘lost son’ deal with those who are afflicted with this ‘elder brother syndrome’? Accept that there will always be carriers of the ‘elder brother syndrome’. But thank God they are in the minority. Learn to live with them. They are what they are because they have not experienced the grace you have experienced. They are the ones who are ‘lost’ and in need of the father’s hug, embrace and kisses. Therefore, we need to sympathize with their plight. Pray that they too will experience the lavish grace of God. Only those who have experienced the grace of God will see things in a different perspective. We who have experienced the lavish grace are expected to show more grace.
Regardless of how people treat you, remember, God always has the final say in your life and ministry. Do not be discouraged if doors are closed to you because of the display of ‘elder brother syndrome’. He will open others. If you have been mistreated, do not grovel in self-pity or feel resentful. Instead, learn to praise God that He is still on the throne. Don’t lose faith in the God who has called you. Continue to be faithful. You live to please God and no one else. It is better to please God and displease people than to please people and displease God. It does not matter what others think. It is more important what God thinks of you.
The parable hints that it is not only the younger brother who is ‘lost’ but also the elder brother. The elder brother was not innocent after all. He was guilty of not caring about his younger brother’s wellbeing. Instead, he was angry with the younger brother for leaving because he had to do extra work! He was self-centred ‘I deserved what you gave my younger brother’, Since he was not given the treatment he deserved, the younger brother too should not be given the special treatment of ‘grace’. If there was any special treatment, it should be given to the older brother because he had all along been obedient, hardworking and dutiful.
The elder brother resented the father’s treatment of the younger son. He could not accept the reinstatement of his wayward younger brother. He questioned the father’s right to pour grace on his undeserving younger brother. Sadly, the elder brother failed to recognize that the father loved both of them equally (cf. verse 31). Everything the father had belonged to him too. The father had to remind him to help him see things in a proper perspective.
Let me ask all readers this question. Whom do you identify with in this parable? Are you the younger son that needs to return to the arms of the father because you have strayed? Or are you the elder brother that needs to return to the father because you resent those who have received grace undeservingly?
In either case, both were lost: one lost in the world; the other in resentment. The elder brother was a sinner too and needed to confess his resentment towards his younger brother. Resentment is as ugly as profligacy. Profligacy is outward and resentment is inward. You can be a hypocrite and deceive people. But you cannot deceive God.
The younger son could not experience the marvel of his father’s grace till he realized the depth of his unrighteousness. So also the elder brother could not feel the father’s delight till he was able to see the ugliness of his self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is as bad as unrighteousness. Any act of unrighteousness is evident to others. But self-righteousness is hidden and surfaces occasionally. It is also very subtle because our righteous anger can be a cover up for self-righteousness. The people that Jesus often accuses of self-righteousness are not the sinners but the religious leaders like the scribes and Pharisees.
If you are like the younger brother, you need to return. If you are like the elder brother, join the party and celebrate. Are you willing? The choice is up to you.
This story ends without telling us whether the elder brother changed his attitude towards his younger brother. Was he persuaded to accept the father’s reason? Did he finally join the party? How about the younger brother? Did he find out about his elder brother’s attitude towards him? If he knew, what was his reaction? We would never know, would we?
Of course this is only a parable; so questions asked are rhetorical. I believe Jesus ends the parable this way because each of us as readers must complete the story for ourselves. The elder brother decided to stand outside. We have a choice - to stand outside alone and begrudge God’s grace on others or to join in the celebration and embrace our ‘younger brother’.
Indeed, our lives can be compared to writing a book. Where there are mistakes, we erase them with an eraser. In the same way, in the book that is called life, we need to use ‘grace erasers’ on the bad chapters. After having done that, we continue to write on that same page or begin with a new chapter. At the end of it all, we must remember that it is not how we begin the chapter but how we end it. Perhaps after writing those bad chapters, we learn to be more careful. We should all make it our goal to see that the story we write is consonant and coherent with His story
Discussion Questions