In the last episode, we saw how Francis fell into temptation and that led Dorothy to live a miserable life battling within herself. Today, let us see what her discovery was.

Although Francis earned enough to support the family and his drinking habit, he started to borrow money occasionally from Dorothy at the end of the month. To relieve herself from another altercation, Dorothy dipped into her personal savings which she accumulated since young. His talk about crazy get-rich schemes made her wonder whether he had gotten himself into some money trouble. “Where did the money go?” She always had her doubts whenever Francis asked for money, knowing that he earned twice as much as she as a piano teacher. Other women in such a situation would’ve naturally talk it out with their husbands. But Francis was not any ordinary husband. Dorothy wondered how she could learn the truth without having to question him. She checked his wallet which he tossed on the shoe cabinet as usual.  That’s the only way to finding out.

The discovery was shocking and certainly beyond her anticipation: she found a lovely poem scrawled in Francis’ handwriting and addressed to Jocelyn! Who was Jocelyn?

As Dorothy dug further into Francis’ wallet, she found a local hotel receipt for two nights’ stay dated 14 February 1998 – Valentine’s Day – the day Francis supposedly travelled to Malaysia for business. Francis had lied to her. He was not abroad on business at all! 

Brutally, Dorothy awoke from her rosy dream in March 1998. For the first time, she shouted in the loudest voice she had ever dared to raise against Francis, “Tell me the truth! Tell me what this is about!” when he was still asleep near noon. She flung the pieces of paper at his sleeping body but she wished they were something heavy, like a piano or a chair, so that she could hurt him as much as he did her. 

Francis did not say a word but avoided her eyes while arranging his bedding. When Dorothy saw his reluctance to defend himself, all her anger suddenly drained away and replaced by frantic fear. In the twinkling of an eye, her future was snuffed out like a weak candle flame. Although they were having trouble, Dorothy never doubted Francis would be unfaithful to her. She always assumed he would remain faithful to her just as she was faithful to him.

Dorothy flung herself into his arms and wept uncontrollably and requested, “Please tell me it isn’t true!” Tucked into the shelter of his broad shoulders, Dorothy peeped up at his face and incredibly, saw tears in his eyes. She thought: his tears demonstrated that he still cared for her. But at the same time, the tears struck a death knell to whatever shreds of hope she still clung to; his tears testifying that he was guilty of the crime she imagined. Francis spoke not a word. Dorothy scraped together the remnants of her dignity and screamed within herself, “Am I such a doormat that I can be cheated on and not react?” She then gathered her most precious possession – Benjamin – and headed blindly for the front door. 

But Francis was quick; he was at the door before her. He begged, “Don’t go. I am sorry, very sorry. I will do anything. Please stay.” She believed that the affair was just a temporary thing. He was tempted by the woman and could not help himself. “I had not been patient enough to hear his side of the story”, having all these rationalisations in her mind, Dorothy allowed herself to be led towards the sofa and seated.

Her heart melted as he continued to beg her for forgiveness, and she gave in. She suggested signing up for a marriage counselling course to work on their relationship. He agreed under the condition that she kept the matter between the two of them only. He was very remorseful and cooperative when making the request. Dorothy promised.

They were eager for things to return to normal. Things did seem normal when Francis left home for appointments after tenderly reassuring Dorothy of his faithfulness. As the day progressed however, Dorothy’s thoughts drifted back to the catastrophe again. “How could I bear this burden alone?” She called his family on impulse. His mother and sister Shirley were shocked and vowed to confront Francis personally; their arrival in the evening caused a lightning storm. All his contrition earlier that day disappeared completely. Francis hissed at Dorothy: “You promised you wouldn’t tell anybody. You broke your promise! You can forget about the counselling!” Francis then left and all hope of reconciliation vanished with his departure. 

After weeks of ugly confrontation, Francis went back to his lifestyle of late nights and absent weekends. Dorothy was not sure he had broken off his relationship with the other woman so she called and checked on his movements and whereabouts at all times of the day. Based on his promise that there was nothing between the woman and him, she tried to move on with their family life.  But she was lying to herself.

There were a few times she plucked up her courage to appeal to him not to go out. Francis did not even pause in his preparation for an inexplicable outing with ‘friends’. It was difficult to reason and remind him of his promises to rebuild the marriage. Nothing about counselling was mentioned.

Instead of besting Francis in a debate, Dorothy checked on him in other ways. She rifled through the storeroom, the upper shelves of their wardrobe, his luggage, the car, anywhere she could imagine where Francis might hide things from her. Over a period of months, she uncovered photos of Francis with his arm around a woman with Filipino features, photos of him being intimate with different women; condoms, bills from expensive restaurants, credit card receipts for hotel stays and receipts from exclusive women’s boutiques. She found reasons why he always ran out of money before the end of the month. Her blood boiled as Francis spent much on other women at the expense of their family. And from his pay slip, she discovered Francis earned much more than what he had declared to her. 

All the pieces of evidence were not neatly kept together. Instead, they were negligently stuffed in drawers and envelopes, which demonstrated his confidence that Dorothy was too stupid to find them. A few of the receipts were dated several years back. All that proved that Francis had been cheating on her for a long time; and with different women. 

Each discovery was yet another piece of evidence of his betrayal. Husband and wife ended up quarrelling viciously. Once she confronted him yelling, “What’s this bill for an expensive swimming costume? Who is the woman you bought it for?” The night became long and weary with both exchanging ugly, hurtful words.

Whatever Dorothy found was just a piece of evidence of the betrayal. But a medical chit for an appointment to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STD) stumbled her the most. Benjamin and she were in physical danger. She applied for an STD blood test. Though distasteful to her as if she was a prostitute, she had to do it. Fortunately, she was diagnosed with a mild form of STD which was treatable with a course of antibiotics.

The man of the house had put Dorothy in a devastating state so bad that when she was alone at home, she wailed loudly like she had lost someone dearly. The intensity of pain was the same as the time she lost her disabled brother years ago. She questioned God, “Why another round of bereavement?” But Dorothy choked back her tears when Benjamin and Francis were at home. The little boy sensed her anguish and responded with hugs. 

While she desired to save her marriage, with Francis’ continued risks to her and Benjamin’s health, things took to a different level. They were in the process of selling their flat and buying a new one. Economically speaking, that was the right time to do so. But Dorothy doubted to put all her finances into a new place with Francis. As she wrestled within herself to go forward or not, a telephone call one serene morning, proved to be pivotal.

Dorothy referred to that as a strumpet’s call. The phone rang while she was spending time with Benjamin. She picked up the call. A slightly foreign-accented female voice asked for Francis in a most brazen manner. His girlfriend dared to call him at home? How dare this woman made a call to the last sanctuary which Dorothy could still claim as her own? To share her castle after she had been compelled to share her husband?

Her hackles rose and she was losing control steadily. One can easily imagine what happened thereafter. Yes, at the end Francis ignored his wife and son spitefully and slammed the door on his way out.

Dorothy turned her attention to Benjamin. Words failed her. She knew the incident affected Benjamin much, but she did not know how to address the issue. And at the same time, she discovered Benjamin had begun wetting his pants although he had been toilet-trained. Perhaps that’s a child reacting to the hostility between his parents. As usual, Dorothy swept the problem under the carpet as she could not afford to aggravate it further.

The call had an impact on Dorothy and made her think in depth the possible reality if they move into a new house. Would Francis bring home his girlfriend and introduce her to Benjamin?

The marriage was in a total mess, yet Dorothy had to pretend like nothing happened in front of neighbours and friends. How to face such a situation alone for a long period of time? Please join us next week to find out how God led her in No More Tears.