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Friends, thank you for staying with the series in the past three months. My Hand in His offered readers an insight of the life of a village boy, David, being set free from the bondages of Chinese deities to live a triumphant life. The tremendous change brought David out of gang fights and turned his life around enormously. Even though he started earning a good salary as a manager, David found it more meaningful to give his life to God than to a company. As such, in 1975, he decided to leave his career to enter full-time ministry.
As a full-time missionary David draws no salary for his work. He shared that God’s blessings and supplies never fails and are always right on time. And God knows him best. Veronica is a wonderful gift from God. She shares his vision, passion and principle of faith, a good friend and co-worker in Gospel Recordings Singapore. For a minister, having a spouse fully supportive of one’s ministry is very important.
This is the last episode of the series. We hope you will be blessed further: how God brought David out of his sufferings of depression and some tips he’d like to share with us all.
Blessings for Melody
Since young, David often reminded his only daughter Melody, “When daddy and mummy aren’t with you, when you go overseas or whenever you face difficult situations, you can always turn to the Lord for help. God never fails.” David inculcated in Melody the habit of trusting God when she was a toddler.
David recalled an incident whereby little Melody requested a soft toy, a Care Bear, for Christmas. He told her to pray for God to give her the gift. But then, David himself did not believe that God would answer a child’s prayer. So, he bought her a six-inch tall Care Bear before Christmas.
On Christmas day, their friends and relatives gave Melody lots of presents. One of them, by the look of its wrapping, appeared to be a stuffed toy. When Melody tore off the gift wrapper her eyes popped out. It was a Care Bear ten times bigger than the one her daddy bought her earlier! David regretted that he did not wait upon the Lord. After that incident, David never again doubted that God would answer a child’s prayer.
There were many incidents that God answered Melody’s prayers as a surprise. Her experiences showed David the truth of Paul’s reminder that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20). Melody has taught him much about the power of childlike faith that God “rewards those who earnestly seek him” (Hebrews 11:6). Melody is now the mother of a teenage girl. Today, she still prays and sees God’s provision just as she did in her childhood.
Delivered from Depression
David suffered from clinical depression for a period of 21 months. It was January 2010 - he was nearly 60 years old. When a panic attack struck, David became sad, irritable and restless. He lost his energy and ability to concentrate on his work. He fell into feelings of guilt and worthlessness, and even seriously considered jumping to his death! He also heard things that were not there.
Veronica took him to visit a psychiatrist. The doctor could not diagnose the actual cause so he attributed that due to age, hormonal changes and a chemical imbalance in the brain. The medication prescribed to him was to improve his mood and boost the serotonin in his brain. However, the medication led to many side-effects and the improvements were rather minimal.
David lost his appetite and interest in life. His memory began to fail and his doctor said he was suffering from temporary dementia as well. To David, ‘memory loss’ is a frightening term. How would he be able to preach and minister again?
The depression led to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). David had a very strong urge to check doors, windows, taps, cooker and lights in the house repeatedly, especially in the middle of the night. As he felt hopeless, he often accused God, “Why me? I have faithfully served you for 32 years. While others get promotions, I am cast down! Why don’t Your enemies get depression instead? I have given all my life to You. Is this how You reward me?” David heard nothing in return.
The psychiatrist tweaked the drug prescription when David’s condition did not improve. He had to cope with various side-effects each time he was given a new medication. Thank God that in that difficult time, David clung to Psalm 25:3: “Those who hope in God will not be disappointed.” He also declared the words of Lamentations 3:18-23:
My splendour is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord. I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Then, God gave David three dreams. Each one assured David that he would be well soon, walking and leaping for joy. Somehow, David was unsure and he asked for reassurance. But God did not answer him.
One morning before dawn, God spoke to Veronica in a soft voice, “I will restore him.” She was encouraged and told David about that. But David was not convinced.
On 7 September 2011, David told God that his despair was beyond description and he needed His assurance. He challenged God, “Either You kill me or heal me or I’m going to kill myself.”
God knows exactly how much we can endure. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”
David was in his office and decided to read his Bible. By God’s providence, he saw Roman 8:37-39: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” God opened his spiritual eyes! At once, David was lifted up from the dark cloud of depression. His fears, doubts and anxieties vanished at the same time! God’s peace and calmness, for which he had longed for over umpteen months, were restored to his soul quickly.
David said that God did not heal him instantly. God did it gradually as he felt better each day. At times where the side effects of the medication, the physical and mental afflictions irritated him, David sang praises to God instead of sighing. During that period of time, David trusted God each day for grace and strength to endure the pain, enjoy life and work normally.
Through the depression, God revived David spiritually and transformed his life. God taught him to trust and hope in Him and David learnt how to trust God :
Here are some tips for Christians who suffer from depression:
Conclusion
My prayer is that, after reading this book, you will dare to step out in faith and obedience to God for whatever he wants you to do, so that you can taste His goodness in His vineyard. Remember, “We live by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5: 7).
Abraham would not have discovered Jehovah Jireh, God the Provider, if he had withheld Isaac. The Red Sea would not have parted if Moses had not dared to stretch out his staff. The walls of Jericho would not have fallen if Joshua had refused to lead Israel in marching around the city. The little boy would not have seen the miracle of the feeding of the 5,000 if he had kept the five loaves and two fish to himself.
As I reflect on my journey, particularly before my conversion, I recall that three of my neighbourhood boys were murdered in gang fights. If I had remained with the gang, I could have suffered a similar fate. I thank God for saving my soul, changing me and using me for the extension of His kingdom.
Indeed, God picked me out of the trash bin. He patched me up, polished me and appointed me to His Majesty’s service. He gave me the privilege of supplying recordings to missionaries for their outreaches; setting up distribution centres in Vietnam, Malaysia and the Philippines; training pastors and leaders in Vietnam and Cambodia; doing pastoral work in churches; conducting seminars and counselling individuals. As a result, many lives have been touched through me. I have been able to travel to nearly 70 countries. He made something beautiful out of my wretched life. How awesome is my God!
While writing the book, David went through several thick files of records. The records amazed him to see how God brought many people – once strangers to both Veronica and himself – across their path. They have received countless thank-you notes which cheered their hearts and many of them have become their friends for years.
Like the boy who offered up his five loaves and two fish to Jesus, I have offered God my two hands and two feet. He accepted my offer and used them to reach the crowds in the spiritual wilderness who are desperate, hungry, lonely and living in darkness.
It is not what I can do for Him but rather, what He can do through me. I am not a manufacturer of His blessings; I am merely a distributor, letting His life flow through me to reach the masses.
Age is catching up, I am going to be 68 soon. Not sixteen go on seventeen. I can’t even think about dancing, hopping on and all the benches like Lisa in the Sound of Music. Even climbing up the overhead bridges in Singapore can be a challenge now.
Retire? No way! As I look around me, I see 750,000 South Asians working in Singapore and more than one million Chinese nationals working and staying here. There are numerous tribes still to be reached throughout Southeast Asia and the Middle East. How can I retire?
I yearn to follow God, and let Him lead me on another journey of faith in which I shall see His providence – the motivation and security for my Christian living and ministry. He is still leading me to help spread the gospel of Christ to the ends of the earth, so that every tribe may one day declare the glory of God. For this, I give glory to God for my life.
We hope that you have been motivated by David’s life testimony in a very special way and boosted you up spiritually and mentally. God’s grace is sufficient for us. We pray that as you follow Jesus, others around you will see His image in you. May His image live in you and shine through you. Emmanuel! God is with us!