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[Energiser] My Hand In His (02) : The Journey to Conversion

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  • [Energiser] My Hand In His (02) : The Journey to Conversion
David Lim
26 Dec 2018

Hello and welcome to David’s life testimony. Last week, we shared David’s childhood in the village where no one called him by his given name. Family members and others called him Babi which is ‘pig’ in the Malay language and his mother later called him Lebbit instead of David. Then, we shared about an event that left a deep impression on him even until today - a pre-dawn visit to a temple. Today, let us continue on what David encountered in the temple and his life as a teenager.

Having fulfilled the ritual with his mother’s help, David placed the joss-sticks into a bulky container that was already holding thousands of them. They waited for the joss-sticks to burn down to a particular level which showed that the gods had already accepted the offering. Meanwhile, they took the spirit-money to a tall and huge guard-shaped furnace in the temple compound.

Bee-ah, always remember that the spirit-money must be burned completely otherwise the gods won’t accept them,” his mother reminded him as she stuffed a few more sheets into the furnace. After that, David asked for her permission to visit the stalls outside the temple.

As he dashed out, he saw dozens of fortune-tellers and heard one of them stopping a devotee saying, “Ma’am, your face has an aura of bad luck. I can improve your luck”. But David observed that the old fortune-teller looked pitiful in appearance. He felt that the old man needed to improve his own luck instead!

David watched the entire process of the fortune telling before immediately returning to the temple so his mother would not worry. They returned to the sacrificial table and collected the plate of glutinous rice cakes and fruits which were still untouched. She put them carefully back into the biscuit tin and transferred all food into a brown paper bag.

On the walkway leading to the gate, there was a line of beggars waiting for alms. They knew most temple devotees practise charity, so they were there to get some money. His altruistic mother doled out a few coins to the nearest beggar and hurried away before her generosity obliged her to empty her purse.

They spent about an hour at the temple. By then, the sun had risen, and the roads were filled with traffic as people prepared to start their day. David’s mother flagged down a trishaw and as usual, haggled with the trishaw man. David longed to head home in order to catch up on his sleep after the hustle and bustle. Unfortunately, his poor mother had to go to someone’s home to wash clothes for a family.

 

Availability, Not Ability

I felt good about doing a good deed for the gods – I had sacrificed my sleep to pray at the temple. What really motivated my mother to pray at the temple before daybreak, well, only she knows. However, the impression of her religious devotion has lingered in me over the years.

My mother taught me these things: giving offerings to the gods depend on our availability, not ability; devotion entails sacrifice and commitment, like getting up during the wee hours to pay respects. We do not practise religion at our convenience. That concept stayed with me, even later on in life, as I devoted myself to the Lord as a Christian.

To David, his mother was beautiful in his sight. She had the four cardinal virtues of a good Chinese woman: virtue, demeanour, work and charity.

 

His Teenage

David’s father died of stomach bleeding. However, to some relatives, they believed that he died under the curse of black magic.

He was a self-employed delivery man who sent shipments of fish to wholesalers in town every day and made $20 a day. But, he gambled away much of his daily wages.

His work required him to start at 3am so he had to sleep at his workplace, a five-foot walkway in front of a fish shop commonly seen in the 1950s. Nevertheless, he never failed to go home every afternoon to spend time and have dinner with his family. He knew David loved bananas and often brought home a comb of banana for the family to share.

One day, the shop owner found some cash missing from his safe and consulted a medium since he could not find the thief. The medium gave him a magic drink which he forced his employees to drink. According to the medium, the culprit was the one who became sick after drinking it. Coincidentally, David’s father had excruciating stomach pain for days after drinking the magic potion. He could not work and could no longer bear the pain. He was sent to Singapore General Hospital for surgery where he had an operation on his stomach. Unfortunately, he died shortly after.

David’s father came from China in his youth and lived in that community ever since. Those who knew him believed that he was not the culprit. Even the shop owner who set up the magical drink to expose the culprit was confident that he was innocent. David recalled his grandfather had a similar operation but lived for many years after that. But his father did not make it and the cause of his death remain unknown today.

His father left them with nothing to live on. The only possessions he left behind were a sweater, a Chinese string instrument called yang qin, and a torn and tattered blanket which David’s mother used as a bolster at night.

Disappointed, David said, “My religion failed to fill the vacuum in my heart. Fear and superstitions continued to oppress me. I often looked at the sky and wished that a real god would appear so that I could believe in him. I asked my mother for an answer, but she sidestepped my question and said that little children should not ask so many questions. As I look back after all these years, I suppose she was just as clueless as I was. Nevertheless, that made me even more eager to search for the truth and a real god.”

David is more deeply immersed in Taoism than most Chinese children of his age, simply because his grandparents owned a Taoist temple where David often stayed. Moreover, his grandfather was a spirit medium. A spirit medium offers advice to those who are troubled, acts as a healer, a moral guide and functions as a servant and a spokesperson for the Chinese deities. David’s grandfather said his work was a spiritual calling; he felt chosen by the deities for the task and accepted no money from devotees. Year after year, David witnessed his grandfather going into trances, performing incredible stunts even when he was in his sixties. All the familiar rituals that his grandfather performed, including those feats, were real and made possible by unseen forces. He even healed a lunatic who later became a bicycle shop owner. However, these impressive displays did not fill the spiritual vacuum in David’s heart. Being spiritually inclined, somehow I suspected that there might be another god in heaven – more powerful than the ones I worshipped. Thus, my search for God continued.

 

His Fear of Hell

When David was in Primary 6 a visit to Haw Par Villa, best known as Tiger Balm Gardens, drew him to think further. The park had over a thousand colourful statues and 150 giant tableaux depicting Chinese folklores, legends, history and Confucian teachings. Some popular legends include classic battles between good and evil which give tributes to Chinese cultural heroes like Wu Song, who according to legend, tamed a ferocious tiger with his bare hands.

David’s fear intensified when he saw the horrifying scenes of the Ten Courts of Hell which depicted tortures for sinners in the nether world. It was then that David recalled his sins.

Because his father died when he was 10, David’s mother worked hard in order to feed the family. She leaves home early in the morning and returns home late at night. David hardly saw her during the day. As his siblings were teenagers, David goes out of his house to find his own friends. He began mixing with a neighbourhood gang which instigated him to beat innocent folks, vandalise property and steal. Their destructive activities made the gang notorious in the village. Once, they were detained by police after a school fight. However, David did not learn his lesson and continued his wrongdoings.

The Ten Courts of Hell, though not biblical, were like God’s way of convicting David of his sins. I imagined if I were to go through the Ten Courts of Hell with all my sins, and received all the due punishments – disembowelment, tongue-plucking and eye-gouging – there would not be any organs left for reincarnation. That drove me to despair. The gods whom I had been devoted to could not offer me any assurance of salvation or peace of mind. Like the father of the Prodigal Son, God was waiting for me to return to Him. Hunger drove the rascal home; the fear of hell pushed me to seek Him. But God always has His way of convicting sinners.

When David was in Secondary 2, a boy who lived next door invited him to his church, Jesus Saves Mission (JSM). David tagged along without any question and brought with him a Bible which was given by another neighbour earlier. Church attendees were mostly village folks and school children. They shook hands and shared their Bibles and songbooks voluntarily with newcomers. Everyone smiled and talked with one another. Even a dog that came along with a mentally disabled boy was treated kindly. David felt perfectly at home when the church sang “Jesus loves me, this I know; for the Bible tells me so”. He learnt this song from the Seventh-day Adventist missionaries who visited his village to tell Bible stories every Saturday afternoon. Numerous Bible stories shared by them laid the foundation for him to accept Christ later.

After singing and offering collection, someone directed David to a Sunday school class for his age. He sat through the class and joined them for morning worship. When he was about to leave for home, Cindy Tan, a school teacher called out to him in Teochew dialect, “Come back next Sunday, okay?”

David nodded and answered, “Okay”. For once, he felt someone cared about him.

Because of her invitation, David returned to church the following Sunday and continued to attend JSM for months. The church was like a community centre to him, a fun place to visit. In JSM compound, there was a basketball court and a field for other sports. That drew lots of poverty-stricken village boys and girls to the church every afternoon, whose families could not afford expensive sports equipment. After playing, they attend a free tuition in the evening followed by a Bible-story hour. Dozens of children stayed back for the Bible-story hour purposely. Those stories became the springboard to David’s salvation.

Later, David was asked by volunteer workers to tutor primary school children. The move made David felt important for the first time. No one had ever treated him with respect and kindness before because of his connection with the gang. People actually despised him. But the love of those Christian workers gave David a sense of belonging to the church. As a result, David drew himself closer to the church and eventually withdrew from the gang completely.

Perhaps you find David’s story long-winded, but that was the path he as a sinner walked through. We pray that you have been touched and will be touched further as we continue his story next week. Good bye.

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