Hello friends! Welcome to a new series titled, “Walking with Same-sex Attracted Friends”. You may wonder: What would the good news of God’s Kingdom look like in a community of Jesus’ people? What would such a gospel community be like for people with same sex attraction? How might churches be safe spaces for them to know Jesus and to grow to be more like Him? For the benefit of the church, these questions have been brought to life by the true and personal stories in this series, at great expense of, and with great courage from their contributors.

Today’s episode will be an introduction to the series, which is based on a book of the same title. The following 4 episodes will be personal testimonies of Christians struggling with same sex attraction and their journey and revelation. However, do note that there are more stories in the book, but we are not able to cover all of them. Hence, if you are still interested in learning more about these stories, please read the book for more. The sixth episode will be a reflection on the personal stories of these courageous individuals who chose to share their journeys with us. The next 2 episodes are experiences of mentors and friends who have walked alongside Christians struggling with same sex attraction. The ninth episode will be a reflection on these experiences and the importance to equip the church to respond in love and acceptance. And finally, the last 2 episodes are the journeys, reflections and pointers from pastors on how to better equip the church to welcome and care for everyone who seek to know the Lord better and build a stronger and more intimate fellowship in the church.

Many churches and Christians feel ill-equipped to help Christians with same sex attraction to live flourishing lives. Conversely, Christians with same sex attraction feel that churches could be better communities to them. Hence, we hope this series plugs the gap between Biblical teachings on sexual ethics and the gospel on one hand, and their application to churches and Christians as gospel communities to people with same sex attraction on the other. This series will cover a broad range of experiences. We do not advocate any particular expression as the only or best solution, but we hope that you, as a Christian and someone who can influence your church, will better understand Christians with same sex attraction, undertake critical self-examination and help your church become more of a gospel community to those grappling with same sex attraction. I pray that we will all be open and understanding towards each personal testimony from our brothers and sisters-in-Christ, and that we will listen with a loving and kind heart. May we keep returning to the Good News that we are all bruised reeds, restored and made whole by Jesus, so that we may in turn bring the people around us to restoration in the grace of God.

One of the most asked questions on this topic is: How can a supposed God of love be so against the secular notion of a love beyond the boundaries of gender?

Well, as followers of Christ, all our thoughts and actions are ultimately referenced to God who created us and rules over us with His sovereign grace and compassionate love. This God, as revealed in the Bible and in Jesus Christ, is understood as both holy and compassionate, righteous and loving. Neither just one nor the other. The apostle Paul refers both to the kindness and sternness of God. These characteristics of God are two sides of the same coin. Hence, we risk losing a proper understanding of God and His ways when we lean on one side at the expense of the other.

The church, which is called to proclaim God’s truth and demonstrate His love, is therefore given a role that includes having a prophetic voice as well as a priestly ministry. The prophetic voice of the church should turn people away from sin, in whatever form, that corrodes and destroys the soul, and the priestly healing hands of the church should be extended to those who turn to Christ with faith. These principles apply to all sinners and all kinds of sin, and the Bible reminds us that we are all sinners in need of God’s redemption, healing and transforming power. This is particularly true for those who are troubled by what Christians of a different era termed as “besetting sins” – those that are deeply lodged, or as the Bible terms as the “sin which clings so closely” (Hebrews 12:1). God often does a deep work of redemption and deliverance in such cases. Though there are some who may experience sudden freedom from a besetting sin, true freedom comes through persistent faith, spiritual disciplines and the encouragement of a loving Christian community as the Holy Spirit does His work within and among God’s people. God intends to save us not only from the penalty of sin but also from its lingering power. There is an analogy that John Ortberg wrote in his book “Soul Keeping”, he writes:

“Freedom from external constraints appeals to all of us, but I do not believe that it’s the freedom the soul needs. For example, you generally can drink as much alcohol as you want, restricted only by laws prohibiting drinking and driving and public drunkenness. But if you want to get loaded every night in the privacy of your home, you’re free to have at it. Eventually, however, your drinking will begin to cause problems for you. It damages your health. It embarrasses your kids. It hurts your marriage. It threatens your job. You get to a point where you want to quit but you can’t. You discover that you are not free to enjoy sobriety. You’re free to drink as much as you want, but you’re not free to not drink.”

The freedom to drink is a metaphor for our freedom to pursue the world, conform to society and indulge in sin. However, we will eventually reach a point where we become trapped by the chains of the world, be it the pursuit of money, success or pleasure, that we become restricted by the brokenness and emptiness inside of us. However, true freedom is found in Christ, where we are no longer enslaved by sin or the world but are free to become the person we are designed to be. To be so utterly filled with love, joy and contentment, through surrendering to Christ.

In one sense, our problem is with distorted desires. The apostle Paul described people living in the terrible times of the last days as those who suffer from misplaced love, such as the love of money, of pleasure and at the heart of it, self-centred love. The gospel of Christ addresses this and transforms us to become people who learn to love God wholeheartedly and who love their neighbours with true self-giving love.

These principles are also true in the case of those who struggle with same-sex attraction. The church is often clear about where to stand – declaring the biblical teaching that homosexual practice is sinful and incompatible with Christian discipleship. But it is also true that the church is often not so ready, or does not know how, to offer pastoral care to those who turn to it for help and hope. This may create a sense of rejection among those who are seeking to find God’s grace in Christ and a way of overcoming their besetting sin. The Church must embody the gospel with love, justice and compassion. That is its calling. The Church’s witness to a watching world and its discipleship of an enquiring younger generation will be impacted by how she fulfills this calling.

This series seeks to both encourage those who are serious about following Christ but are struggling with same sex attraction, and to challenge the church to lend a listening ear and a helping and welcoming hand. The stories in this series are told with honesty and courage. They introduce us to a world of those who struggle deeply with same sex attraction, with powerful and disturbing feelings of loneliness, shame, failure, confusion, rejection, anger and frustration. These stories create necessary empathy and sensitivity.

This series also bring a sense of hope. The stories shared by those who minister to people with same sex attraction reveal the compassionate understanding that is required to help people with same sex attraction who turn to the Lord for healing and transformation. Some of the closing chapters are filled with Christian hope and an outstanding vision of a true Christian community where all sinners can find God’s truth and transforming grace.

There are various metaphors for the church; one is that it is like a spiritual hospital where we find healing and hope in the context of a redemptive community. This is greatly emphasised in the book. Pastoral ministry has long been understood as a ministry that involves healing, sustenance, guidance and reconciliation. This should be made available to all, including those who struggle with same sex attraction.

This series allows people to think more deeply about same sex attraction and how we should respond to it, both from the point of view of those who wrestle with it, and those who seek to help or just to understand it better. It provides encouragement to those who seek to follow Christ but suffer from besetting sins of any kind, and also brings a challenge to churches to learn how to minister to them.

In the end, we must all recognise that whatever our story or struggle with sin is, and we all have our struggles, God has chosen us to be His children so that we can be conformed to the likeness of His Son. This is God’s plan for us all, and we are all in this journey to becoming Christlike. God is not finished with us yet. He continues to work in us and among us as we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to do His sanctifying work in us. The church should understand this and provide a safe redemptive space to all of us sinners, whatever our problems are, surrounded by the sheltering canopy of God’s unchanging truth and abiding love.

In the next episode coming out next Thursday, we will be listening to a personal story of a sister-in-Christ, Karen Ho, and her experience with her greatest love. Until then, this has been Global Reachout and it has been a blessing to journey with you. Stay tuned, stay kind and have a great week!