Today, we are continuing with our discussion on human relationships. I had mentioned previously that in human relationships, especially that of husband-and-wife relationship, Adam and Eve represented the whole of humanity because they were created in the image of God and lived according to His image by loving one another. The two became one flesh and were naked but not ashamed. That was beautiful.

However, today, human beings are ashamed of their nakedness as a consequence of sinning. Adam and Eve had sinned. They ate the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That was their choice. We need to take responsibility for the choice that we make with the freedom given. Adam and Eve had chosen to do the wrong thing and had to bear the consequences as a result of it. It was very unfortunate.  

After the humans had sinned, sins entered into their lives

After Adam and Eve had sinned, God came to look for them. How did the man respond when he had done wrong? Taken from Genesis 3: 11 -12 from the ESV Bible, God said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” We see that after the man had sinned, he quickly pushed the responsibility to his wife. He was reluctant to face the consequences of his wrongdoing. Since the origins in Genesis, man is irresponsible. This is indeed sad!

After men had sinned, they shifted the blame to their wives – they would say that it was the haggard woman who had caused the family to break up. They would give a lot of reasons for divorce in order to defend themselves. It is human nature of not willing to bear responsibility and it seems as if it is passed down from Adam. When a person refuses to admit his wrong doing and pushes the responsibility to another person, the matter will deteriorate because from the start, it has gone the wrong way. If the first button is sewn in the wrong place, the rest of the buttons will be at the wrong positions too. In the same way, when a person refuses to admit his wrongdoing and pushes the responsibility to another, it will result in one mistake after another!

Next, God asked the woman, Eve: “What is this that you have done wrong?” The woman replied: “The serpent tempted me, and I ate.” This was terrible! From the origins in Genesis, the woman also did not take responsibility. In fact, she pushed the responsibility to the serpent – it was the snake who caused it! Actually, I did not wish to eat it. It was the serpent which tempted me and lured me gradually to that tree. Then, it gave me the fruit that was pleasant to the eyes so I was tempted and ate the fruit from that tree. In fact, the woman is like the man. She will also complain that it is the husband who has caused the family to break up – because her husband never cares about her, he is busy entertaining at work, he does not give the family allowance to her on time, he has a mistress outside…

Dear Brothers and Sisters, we can come up with lots of reasons, and then, family starts to disintegrate as we push the responsibility around. If we want to have reconciliation in relationships – re-aligning the husband and wife relationship and having more harmonious parent and children relationship, we must remember not to shift the responsibility to another person after our wrongdoing. That will not resolve the issue because a wrongdoing is a wrongdoing. It will not become right even if we deny it.

Dear Brothers and Sisters, God did not continue probing. If He had done that, all the wrongdoing would definitely be shifted to God because God created the serpent, the woman, and the man. Therefore, it is a mistake today. How many people are reluctant to bear the responsibility after they have sinned? Instead they push the blame to God? This is irresponsible. Let us return to the truth in the Bible and return to God. Let us face our fallen nature, bear the consequences of our sins and be a responsible person.

Changes in the husband and wife relationship

Genesis 3:16 in the ESV Bible tells us that, To the woman God said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” We can see, from then onwards, there are changes in the man and woman relationship – woman will desire her husband and her husband will rule over her. This is a concept and relationship of inequality. It is not a portrayal of harmony. Regarding “desire”, it is about pestering – I cannot do without you! I must have you! In the original Hebrew word, “desire” also has the meaning of ruling over – I will hold on to him until I die. I will not let him leave me! I will pester him under all circumstances! In contrast, the husband is high above and in control of his wife till she cannot breathe. This is a form of ruling over. It is a kind of lofty attitude. It is also a form of control over his wife using authority and money.

Today, a lot of marital issues stem from not knowing when to let go and using the most appropriate way to handle them. The result is to desire and pester the other person until he controls you forever and you cannot get out of it. This is the emotional state of human beings after the fall. On the other hand, man wants to rule over woman by using money and violence to control her. This is an unnecessary form of control that is rough and uncultured.

There is a breakdown in the husband and wife relationship because of sin. From then on, it progresses to opposition in human relationships. The human beings use unfair means to deal with another person. Justice is about giving him what he deserves. However, today, we do not give what we should; he does not receive what he should. On the contrary, I snatch from him what he deserves and do not give him the respect that he deserves; I do not give him the position that he deserves; I want to enjoy all these alone. As a result, human relationships disintegrate because of unfairness. Adam and Eve was the first representation of the husband and wife relationship in humanity. It depicted the breakdown in family relationship after man had sinned. It also described the breakdown in human relationships. Sin is the cause of breakdown in an individual’s relationship, the family relationship, and even human relationships in the society.

Broken family relationships

Dear Brothers and Sister, in the verses from Genesis 4:1-8 in the Bible, we can see that man had separated from God and drifted further away from Him. The human relationships are also getting more tensed. Sin has not only crept into the individual’s life, it also has crept into the relationship between husband and wife. In chapter 4, sin had entered into the relationship between the brothers – Cain murdered his own brother, Abel. The Bible tells us that Adam and Eve became one flesh and she gave birth to Cain, and after that, to Abel. They were fellow brothers. Why did Cain kill his own brother? If we read this verse in details, very clearly, Cain was jealous of his brother. What was he jealous about? He was jealous that God had accepted Abel’s offering more than his; he was jealous of his brother getting the more beautiful glory and God was pleased with him.

Why are we jealous? We cannot tolerate other people and accept them being better and stronger than us. This inevitably results in jealousy. When jealousy is fully grown, I hope to get rid of the other person so that I can obtain what he possesses. This was the reason that Cain murdered his own brother, Abel. I am afraid, this is also the reason for many murder cases happening today.

Christ has restored the harmonious relationship between people

The relationship among people should not deteriorate. On the contrary, it should be restored to the original relationship that God has intended for man. From the beginning, the relationship between human beings was harmonious because they were created in the image of God. Just like what Galatians 3: 28 from the ESV Bible tells us, ‘There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.’ Whether you are a slave or not, we need to respect and love one another in Jesus.

It is also mentioned in Ephesians 2:14: ‘For He Himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in His flesh the dividing wall of hostility.’ There is usually an invisible wall that hinders human relationship and this invisible wall is sin. The Jews look down on the Gentiles. There is even a wall that separates the Jews from the Gentiles in the temple. However, God wants to demolish this wall of separation in Jesus Christ and enables people to be one, to love one another and take care of one another. This is extremely important.

We have fallen because of sin. As a result, our lives are broken. We will hurt other people and do not live in harmony with them. Therefore, today, we need the love of God in our Lord Jesus Christ. Being in His love, we can love and accept one another. This is very important.

Application

There was a wealthy girl who was married to a middle-class family. She did not have to cook in her own home. However, after her marriage, she had to cook rice and food. One day, she added too much water to the rice so the rice was too soft. It seemed as if it was neither porridge nor rice. She was very worried and looked nervously at her mother-in-law who was having the first mouthful of rice at the dining table. To her surprise, her mother-in-law said, “This rice is really good! It is suitable for me as I do not have a lot of teeth.” After her daughter-in-law had heard it, her burden was gone. However, after a period of time, she added too little water to the rice and it became too hard. “It is terrible! This rice is not suitable for my mother-in-law to consume!” she whispered in her heart. Again, she looked at her mother-in-law anxiously in front of the dining table. After tasting a mouthful of rice, her mother-in-law said,” This rice is suitable for your father. His teeth are very strong!” From that day on, amazingly, this daughter-in-law loved her mother-in-law because she was more than a mother to her. Her mother-in-law knew how to accept and love her. Love enabled their relationship to be like a mother-and-daughter relationship so this daughter-in-law was full of respect towards her mother-in-law.

We should not be picky and demanding towards others; what we need are love, care, understanding, tolerance and acceptance. In this way, there will be harmony among people. We should not say that my daughter-in-law is half a daughter. We should say that my daughter-in-law is my daughter. We should not say that my mother-in-law is half a mother. We should say that she is my mother. We should treat them like our own daughter and mother. This family will definitely be very harmonious.

Ask God to help us have love in our hearts; the love that God has originally given to human beings should be restored in the relationship among people.

Let us pray together!

Dear God, we are thankful to you for there is bountiful love in you. When you first created man, you put this love in man. God the Father, you love God the Son. God the Son, you love God the Spirit. God the Spirit, you love God the Father! In the same way, may you help us learn not only to love ourselves, but also to love the people who are around us as well as those who are far from us. This includes those who are unlovable because your love is in us. Love overcomes sin and only love can enable relationships to be harmonious. Lord, may You fill our hearts with love. We look up to You with thanksgiving and praise. In the holy name of Jesus Christ we pray, Amen!

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